hope in JESUS

Korea!

2009-12-13T20:13:00.003+08:00

YOz!
okay, havent posted in a while.. so this is gonna be a loong post.
so go rub your eyes a lil now.

I came back from Korea on Tuesday, at around 2.30pm.
And Korea was quite awesome and nice.
Firstly, I wanna thank 4H and all those who designed the HOODIE!
Gosh, it sure was useful.. It was thick and comfortable, and i was wearing it almost everyday. (;
Well, the Koreans didnt really understand what was behind, so it was okay. haha
And I kept hearing the Ringdingdong song along the streets all around Seoul and other places..
Okay, let's begin from Day 1.

Day 1
Arrival in Incheon, Seoul, at around 7am, after taking the midnight flight from T3.
Found our guide, a very 'China' guy who spoke lotsa chinese.. and left.
Temperature was already 3-5 degrees, with winds too.
Then we headed out of Seoul to some place quite far away, a 4 hour ride i think.
To this buddha place.. some ancient korea place.
Walked arnd, saw a huge Buddha, and went to see some buildings, kinda boring.
oh i think the place is called xueyesan.. yeah we went before it snowed heavily there.
After that we went to this seafood place, where there were lotsa seafood and more seafood!
after walking for a while, we sat at a small table to have fresh seafood BBq..
the shell fish on the BBQ pit were still alive luh..
we could see their shells moving, and finally it stopped and we dared to eat. haha
Kinda gross luh, but aint it usually like that? :/
After that, we went to the hotel, which had an Aquaworld!
but we didnt bring any swimming stuffs.. ):
Cause who would swim in that kinda weather?!
but Aquaworld was partly indoor, so we missed it.
Had someproblems with the rooms and stuffs, and when it was all done, we were tired.
Slept in the same room as my bro, one single bed each. (:

Day 2
Had breakfast at the hotel..
Packed and left, for the SKI RESORT!
Yeah.. went to the ski rental place, and rented some skis and winter clothing.
My cousin took the snowboard! though quite reluctantly.. he was kinda emo. ><Day 3
Went skiing again, duh. from 10 or 11 in the morning i think.
Yeah, had more fun with the tobogan.. but now i went on it.
and it was thrilling! haha (;
Then skied somemore, and soon, my bro became better than me luh! haha
i really sucked luh.. couldnt move fast, and couldnt control my direction at high speed too.
Had lunch there, and my mom, aunt and cousin came.
Then my dad bought the ski lifts tickets! omg..
we were to ride the ski lift up a steep slope, and ski down!
I still sucked quite badly ah.. but decided to go up the ski lift with my sis.
The ski lift was nice i guess, just like the skyride at Sentosa luh..
Then skied down! at first, awesome!
Then suddenly I realised i was moving to fast and tried to brake..
but ended up swerving to the right, till i hit the fence!
lol. then in my helplessness i saw my sis ski down all the way with ease.. -.-
Kept going again and again, and the same thing kept happening.
Till my bro and sis 'upgraded' to a bigger slope..
and when i tried the bigger slope, i rammed right into the fence 3 times
and fell right in the middle of the slope after that. yes, faiL!
my dad tried on the first slope too, and fell a few times.. hee.
So i kept training at the first slope, the super beginner one.
Suddenly, without my bro and sis (dunno if it was because of them),
i skied down 3 times successfully! lol. (:
Then i 'upgraded' to the other slope, which was beginner too but steeper.
and i managed to slide down that twice! Awesome luh.. (:
Okay, it was late and the place was closing..
to get back to the hotel, we could either walk
or ski down the other slide of the slope of the first beginner slope.
So we chose that.. duh.
But the slope on the other side was 4 times steeper luh!
it was insane, and scary.. but i went anyway. haha
skied at an insane speed that was insane!
and miraculously, i survived!
So i hit a 6-time-successful streak!
Wanted to return with this success, till my bro loved it so much,
HE WANTED TO DO IT AGAIN.
GOsh.. after some pushing, i was persuaded to go.
but the second time, I went over an uneven surface and fell!
and i was moving super fast.. i thought my leg broke luh.
and it could have really broken if my right ski didnt come off..
Thank goodness it somehow did, cause the thing is locked super tightly to my shoe.
and i was quite alright.
except for my streak having ended there and then. :/
Went back to the hotel quite sore about the fall.. cause my bro and sis didnt fall at all. haha
Well, it was really fun while it lasted, so im glad. (:

Okay. i really wanna post more, but i think i'll do that after i come back from camp.
The other 5 days will be done after thurs,
after the FORWARD IN FAITH, YEAH! camp.. hahah (:
Just came back from pre-camp camp yesterday, and it was quite okay.
and i played A. guit for youth service yesterday, for the first time on 12 Dec 2009!
haha it was quite awesome worshipping God in another way..
and i'll do this for 2 more times during the camp!
God, I pray for strength and determination to play well for you. (;

Oh and i went for the lifeguard interview on wednesday!
and it was quite okay.. haha waiting for my B-code now, then can start work le!
My holiday is very busy luh.. and i also have peer tutoring.
which i cant do for this week, maybe only thurs afternoon, after i break camp.

Well i think that's all.
the holidays are like ending already.. haiz.
Enjoy them while you still can people!
bye. (:

Im glad we're still somehow friends. (:

posting since a longlong time

2009-11-25T23:48:00.002+08:00

hey people.
Im back! posting since a longlonglong time..
manymany things have happened, and im really too lazy to blog about it.
Anyw, O levels are over. and ive a bad feeling about it.
People expect so much, and so many people expect so much.
and i feel like im gonna so disappoint them. and there's nothing i can do now..

yeah whatever.
Life's been busy though i thought i'd be free..
im going for piano lessons!
though i was so determined to quit..
i suck at making these kinda decisions.
and that's why im still trapped?
in more ways than one.

Prom night was quite awesome.
Most of the guys (cept me) were super formal and cool.
The gals were.. hm. different! but quite cool and awesome too.
And the emcee was quite hilarious, which was great. (:
and took tons of photos, though i dont really have any.
most are on fb.
and talking about fb, ive gotten an acc.
lol. yeah slow.. but even China's Dexing has it, and blur jinyan, and old Dennis Chua
so i couldnt lose out. Hahah

I wanna get the stupid lifeguard job..
but they are taking their own sweet time for the interview.
and im flying off on sunday alr!
i think i'd probably not get it after all..
which so suck.
and so many things are happening in dec.
Youth FIF camp, 45th anniversary, xmas.
gosh.. and there's still squad outing! Intake 06, help me? hahah

Life's been normal.
but some things still never change.
Especially with myself..
It was just like a reflex action that day, even i myself couldnt believe it after i turned arnd.
I detest this, like totally. lol.
okay. This sounds darn stupid.

And yup. still black..
sorry cheryl. it's just, no time?
but i kinda dislike the emo feel my blog has now.
nvm. sometime soon ba, i've too much things at hand.
and im leading class on sat, peacemaking!
Yes, peace with God, peace with myself, and peace with others. (:

Have fun people!
Bye.

teacher's day!

2009-09-02T23:04:00.005+08:00

hello people out there!
it was a long weekend.. and it flew past so fast.
and i wanna wish teachers out there
a HAPPY TEACHERS' DAY!

yup. monday was the celebration..
kinda didnt like it, the programme didnt make me feel as though it was teachers day.
but we did smth for mr tay, and the two mr lims. haha
we gave them a 'surprise', then played musical chairs?
haha yeah it was fun, and i think they enjoyed it. (:
after that went back to henry park with zhenyang.
lol. actually we both werent sure of whether we'd be going..
in the end we just went, since we're alr sec 4.
yup. took 970.. talked alot.
really surprised though, that we had so much to talk about
even though we havent really been talking since a longlong time.
it was cool talking to him, like finally caught up with a primary school fren.
haha then reached there, met some pple, like desmond!
goodness gracious, i havent seen him in ages luh.
but he's still the same quiet self.. haha
met mrs bala, who was the only teacher still arnd.
walked arnd, and to the library with zhenyang.
and met some insane girls who proclaimed to be very friendly.
scary luh.. hahah but got chased out in the end.
then went home.

then tuesday was teachers day.
lol. went out for breakfast with Joel.. talked about some things.
yup. i love music! yeah..
then came home, mugged some work.
then went for lunch at kfc, and it was pouring like mad.
went for some chinese therapy, hence the marks/bruises on my poor neck and back.
then came home.
mugged the night on english!
i usually feel like dying at the sight of EL hw, but it was different last night. (: thank you!
and then, i could not sleep!
my goodness, i was like tossing and turning for like 2 hours or so..
haiz. maybe it was the energy that had yet to be drained off.

woke up this morning a lil late.
like a total zombie.. even in school.
didnt have the energy to joke arnd with them.
but we had a great laugh during ms pang's period!
hahah win was such a joker.
pranking ms pang that she was on the radio, and that she got a class dedication.
lol! and he recorded it! and ms pang allowed it to be played in class..
despite being quite paiseh-ed. haha
yeah. that got me going.. came to life somehow.
then MATHS! oh my goodness!
for once maths was interesting!
mr lim bun played a maths GAME with us..
LOL! how rare this is.. that mr lim plays a game during maths!
hahah although not very successful, i think the effort he put in was awesome.
and he had chocolates for us.. and edd and win went gaga over the mars bars. lol.
i think this is cool. hm.. right?
lunch break.. didnt really have lunch.
we all went to help jg use the new photocopier machine. we think it's cool huh?
then physics, and i kinda died off.
listened to most of mr lim choon beng's lesson
and they were 'playing' and having fun beside me.. but i had no mood to join them.
so pathetic luh.

okay. that's all i guess..
i wanna go sleep le.
haiz. i hope i can sleep tonight.
bye.

we cant even talk now
why does it seem so hopeless?

Fear.

EL oral!

2009-08-20T20:25:00.003+08:00

hello. (:
okay. im here for a quick post i hope?
yeah.. have not been touching comp these few days
cause i reach home almost always after 7.30pm..
and almost always sleep before 12.
pathetic eh? how im wasting my time away..

anyw. it's been a tiring week..
and it's like almost over so fast.
and tmr's my EL oral! lol.
im the first person.. i just hope i wont stumble much.
it's gonna be frightful if i do. haiz.
yup. and chinese results were out..
a rather pathetic 3, so i'll probably retake ah. :/
and there's still lotsa maths i have yet to finish.
it's quite funny why some others have the discipline and i simply dont.

haiz. i dont have any more..
some things just keep going day after day.
till i dont know how exactly to respond.
the emptyness has yet to be filled..
i really need Jesus.
oh and this sat, jon and i are gonna lead class, on being poor in spirit.
It's something i really must internalise myself.
cause it's like a free gift. it's whether im willing to stretch out and receive it.
really thankful i have such an awesome God. haha (:
(alright, you nutcases dont hafta suan me.)

okay, ive nothing else i guess.
i better go practise as much oral as i can.
let's go.

bye.

tiring week

2009-08-14T22:44:00.008+08:00

this has been one tiring week i must say.
but it certainly seemed very short, but very eventful as well.
hm.. maybe i'll elaborate.
firstly, today's the 14th. and EL oral is exactly a week away! -dies-
and today i didnt quite ace my oral prac..

well, quite a few things happened this week, but i cant really rmb now.
my memory is failing me..
oh yeah. monday was a holiday, kinda wasted it i think. haiz..
then tues school. smth happened i think.. but kinda forgot.
hm. wednesday our first (since term 3) and last time wearing our pb badge and blah in the arena. had pb ROD..
hm. i think they tried their best, but there was not much 'feel' for me sadly.
it's like, not a proper ending to our pb life. sorry sec 3s..
i know you all put in loads of effort though, which i very much appreciate. (:
actually it was quite cool as a whole luh. and i guess we were running short of time..
but it was still nice. thanks sec3s, and the sec 2s who helped out so much. (:

and it was thurs yesterday. a long day, which ended quite uncomfortably.
oh yes. and i had my exam in the morning! i'll talk about that later.
yeah. i really dont understand the entire incident..
i seriously dont want to talk about something that i've talked about a long time ago.
and have given up doing.. i dont know much.
but for your sake, and everyone else's sake, i urge you to think rationally
and not do things without thinking twice the consequences.
please. as a fren i do not want to see you becoming from bad to worse..
we're sec 4 alr, and i think we must really treasure the time left.
cause it's gonna fly by really soon.. sian.
it may be fun, for us, but it's not right that you do things at the expense of others.

lol. i dont know why i just rambled so much.
cant control ah.. haiz.
it's like, i cant not care luh. crap.

anyw, my exam was quite mediocre i think.
haiz. it was a lady! not a particularly good thing..
and i slipped quite a few times for scales, kinda pissed her off to some extent.
i hope my 3 songs were good though, cept for a couple of minor errors.
then sight reading was easy! but as usual, i more or less screwed it.
and aural, i screwed cadences and the questions part, and clapping (which was very long!)
yeah. kinda screwed up as you can see.. but i really hope i dont fail.
good luck ryan.. you'll need it.

okay. i think that's about it.
you know, life is really strange.
and sometimes i dont know what to expect..
neither do i know whether i should be happy or not when it happens.

bye.

i know that i'm in no position to ask for anything more than what it is now.
but it just doesnt go. It just keeps lingering and lingering.. and i really wonder why.

whee!

2009-08-07T21:51:00.003+08:00

hello people!
hahah.. ive so much to blog about today.
i think i'd better warn you that this is gonna be a long post.
okay.

firstly, 5th august! i really wanna thank you guys for making it so wonderful!
thanks for the wishes and gifts ah.. touched luh, like last year. haha
and harris, if youre reading this, i urge you not to go to an expensive extent to get me smth.
okayokay. hm. although i got beaten up quite badly, i think it was really cool,
in spite of these people still suaning me about God. -.-
hahah still thanks. (:
okay. ive a whole long list to thank, cause i didnt really thank much pple. sorry!
alright.
Lishanth, Benjamin Lau, Edward, Win and more pple (sry i cant rmb) - HAHA
Joon Guan, Yenn Shen, Yong Xiang, Jiasheng, Jiansheng, Joel. -God? BIBLE..
Yangyu - hm..
Lyn - it looks like a dolphin luh..
Sharon, Jinyan - AIR!
Mavis - food! and back..
Val - old times, all the best for pianO!
And, Jacelyn, Rhonda, Harris, Sultan, Aefy, Yueyoong, EK, Lisin, Esther, Lim Jiasheng, Law, Jared, Benjamin Wong, Wai Chong, Kalai, and many others who wished me!
Mom and Dad (stand), my sis!
yup. thanks pple.. You guys seriously rock! (:

okay. then 6th aug was lyn's birthday!
hahaha how cool is that?
i think it's really cool.. (:
well, i think she really enjoyed herself. haha
then soccer match after school.. lost to 4G.
but we werent playing for a win luh. :/
yup. but my soccer skills suck big time luh.. haiz.

then 7th aug! today was a long and eventful day.
really so manymanymany things.. that im so tired now.
well, started with waking up late! luckily my dad woke me up.. (thanks dad)
and i rushed like a mad person.
then ndp.
but i think this year, the entire thing sucked.
there was no singing of songs, where's the spore spirit?
lol. boring totally.. i think it's fundamentally insane to merge ndp with sports fiesta.
really. and then using h1n1 as an excuse. horridhorrid..
like both were so short and not enjoyable!
really didnt like that.
but anyw, we played our soccer then. used up all the sports fiesta time..
won the semis, but lost the final. which is okay i think..
i think we all tried our best and that's the most impt. (:
was late for the ne quiz, which i felt was quite a waste of time. -.-
then POP. haiz.. so weird, but i got a chance to shout after such a long time.
kinda miss shouting. hee but it was over really quickly..
and this year, it was quite crappy?
but i think it was still nice.. and suddenly i felt like we were cadets again!
struggling to complete 44 pumping (shows how weak i am)
and the going home part. lol.
then it was kinda emotional times. haiz..
i think there's nothing wrong with tearing, but we must appreciate and cherish one another.
that's impt i think.. well, you guys are NCOs alr! all the best and work well with the officers.
you all can do it. (:
then we played a short round of bball.. before going to tiong bahru for lunch/dinner.
then home. i slept almost immediately after i showered luh.. haha

okay. that's a super long para..
and im taking such a long time to finish this post. -.-
thanks for reading! haha
bye.

it's over le.

2009-07-28T11:40:00.004+08:00

hello. (:
ive not blogged in quite a long time.
it's funny im blogging now though, i mean look at the time.
lol. ive decided to be responsible, even though i dont wanna miss the photo shoot later.
damn it. but maybe i wont, if i feel alotalot better. i hafta submit walkathon cards as well.

okay. i must admit, past few days have been so weird..
hm. where should i start?
oh listening is over, i dont know if i blogged about this le.
yeah.. quite crappy, hopefully i didnt get more than 2 wrong.

okay. sunday, 26th July. lol. i knew it was coming, sooner or later.
and it did, but it was still very unexpected.
i guess i'll never know the true reason, but i think i'll just let it be.
perhaps it's indeed the right thing.
ah, still.. crap.

then, monday, 27th July. lol. i think it was such a cool day..
hm. thanks to the really cool people arnd me, i manage to be normal. haha
and we even threw paper at each other during mr lim's lesson!
haha and he got quite angry.. you know, he tried to trick us
when we came in late after lit, that we were having a test. LOL
he's a cool guy man. then english.. and it all started.
it was horrid, seriously felt like dying. till Ms Chia talked about love.
like seriously, lol. and she even quoted the same verse i did on june 19 here.
1 Corinthians 13:4-7! "Love is patient, love is kind... it is NOT self seeking..."
i realised that i shouldnt have said some things i did, really so dumb luh.
well ive learnt, and it's like God telling me to WAKE UP! haha
and then pe! and i enjoyed myself thoroughly with badminton
even though i hadnt played for a long long time.
but after that, the pain came back. and it was horrid.. 38.5 plus luh.
quickly went home before the people came back from floorball.
hopefully they did well. come to think about it, i still dont know the results. :x
sorry guys.

and today, 28 July. lol. im at home, though i wanna go to school.
but i shouldnt luh, if not it'd be bad if people get the bug as well.
i doubt it's h1n1 ah.. but it isnt that serious anyw.
im gonna attempt to catch up with my work, especially english.

nvm. i'll now end my rather long post.
goodbye people. (:

very tired

2009-07-17T23:02:00.002+08:00

hey.
i know this is a post since a very long time..
apologies. cause it's really tough times now.
many things have happened, and many are slipping off my memory like water flowing out of a tap. okay.. no link perhaps? but you get the point..

okay. chinese o levels is over.. hm. 7 july if im not wrong.
it was on plastic surgery.. and i think i screwed up to some extent.
and the reading passage was super crappy.
well, listening is next wed. wow, so fast luh.
and my LC is kinda weak. sian..

okay. school has basically been very heavy these days..
and im staying in school for like more than 12 hours almost everyday.
yeah. the school is nice.. but it's cause i can study better here?
and jg is always arnd somewhere.. so can find him if i dont know anyt. haha
yup. but it's really tiring nowadays. and i realised how much i need you.

today tried to do the class video thing.
kinda screwed? but it's totally not their fault luh..
and devy and lisin, you shouldnt cry or get pissed over things that happened.
i know it's frustrating, but there's no point luh. cause some things will never change..
and you can do nothing about it.
people complained (even me) but most of us dont really have any ideas ourselves..
you are just doing the bad guys job, and i think we should appreciate that.
well, for now just put those words out of your mind and carry on doing whats best for 4H yeah?
haiz.

okay. ive nothing much now..
it's late and i wanna do some work.
alright.
treasure our time together luh.. cause it's really "life before death (of our sec school life)"
bye.

tired

2009-07-05T19:16:00.002+08:00

hey people.
it's been a long time since i blogged..
yeah. cause ive been simply too busy.
apologies ah.
haiz.. it's like, since school reopened, ive been sleeping past 12 everyday.
and waking at 6 everyday. :/

yeah. cant rmb much..
some significant stuffs.
hm.. we're no longer gonna conduct the pb camp.
like crap luh. it's the last thing we thought we could do for our successors.
and we cant do it.. cause of some reason. and i dont think h1n1 is the only one.
really disappointing, and sad.
yeah.. our exco life is gonna end. and it's so nostalgic luh.
of course it's sad luh. and sarah thinks the guys arent..
just cause we were not tearing that day. lol.
how i'd miss those times. haiz..

okay. another significant stuff was benjamin's party.
firstly, HAPPY BIRTHDAY BEN!
wish you all the best for your o levels and everything..
yup. i apologise ah.. for going so late.
and not having the mood after we cleaned up to play with you all.
yeah sorry. yup. i seriously hope you enjoyed yourself..
and we worked really hard to help you clean up the place k!
especially lishanth, who had to coordinate everything.
so dont bully him so much alr luh.. haha

yup. 3rd thing is that youth is like just better this week. hee.
we had a really meaningful discussion ytd about what cg meant to us..
and i guess we can all looked forward to being filled, both spiritually and physically.
haha yup. then had dinner at hf.. which was quite good.
and got me thinking about more things.. :/
but it was cool. yup.. then we talked and fooled arnd outside macs.
and janahan bought hats! haha awesome luh..
and we had jolly shandy outside cheers. and talked somemore random stuffs.
then went home.. hee (:

that's my week's review. haha
im basically tired and mentally tired too..
work hard people!
oh.. and oral is on tuesday. -.-
hopefully the topic wont kill me.
till then, bye.

Father, i pray you'll grant me strength, and peace that transcends all understanding.

i feel like a total failure luh, not knowing anything you had gone thru.
but why? am i really that pathetic?

back..

2009-06-19T14:09:00.002+08:00

hello. (:
okay.. im back from the leaders retreat.
i guess it was somehow fun and relaxing..
hm. but yeah, i felt quite out of place there. haiz.

day 1
erm. met at king albert park macs..
and the place was quite nice. haha it was like, a high class macs. lol.
yeah. but i ate at home alr, so i stoned. and did some physics.
the others were somewhat laughing at me luh..
yeah. and aunt jo said that i was guai. like LOL. and diane was somehow pressured. sorry!
then took 170 to checkpoint. yeah.. joel crapped alot.
hahah ive a girlfriend now! her name is Francis, from st francis methodist school!
LOL but these evil people, keep saying that she is imaginary. haha
joel's really funny luh. like.. i just happened to see st FRANCIS methodist as we passed
and he kept asking the same question he's been asking me for the past 2 years?!
lol. and he really used 'her' to make fun of me during the whole trip luh
saying that i shouldnt be imagining these things. LOL so i just played along.
haha. this topic seems to be the only thing that interests him luh.
maybe cause he has quite a sad love life. haha 25 yrs old alr!
yeah, how i ramble. okay.. crossed checkpoint, and reached austin hill soon after
slacked in the room, which was utterly humongous. haha
yeah, ice breakers and games. and then dinner, chinese food.
lol. yeah, came back for worship.
sat down to have a long discussion about YM stuffs, till almost 1am..
yeah. showered, and played the guitar quietly as i waited for my hair to dry.
and joshua lee taught me some stuffs.. haha then slept. but slept really horribly
on that hard wooden bench. :/

day 2
woke up early, cause i couldnt sleep. yeah, had not enough sleep luh
played the guitar again.. and went out for breakfast.
cheese prata shop, the same operator as the one here luh!
and we had a car ride on our way there. joshua teo almost brought us back to KL with him.
haha yup. then went back.. and went swimming. (:
not really swimming. but we played water rugby/water captain's ball.
yeah smth like that.. i was the defender and doing quite well.
till diane and bernadine came and kept on disturbing me luh.
they were like distracting/splashing water at me and whoever who came back to help me defend.
haha yeah.. drank alot of water but it was fun. (:
then went up, showered and had lunch in the room.
yeah, then had the meeting to discuss about 2010.
but pastor had to leave to discharge his wife from hospital..
so it ended somewhat early, and we went for shopping. but i didnt buy much..
i mean, what can you do at a mall with only 1 hour with less than 100 ringgit to spend!
yeah. lol. then went for dinner at some kelong. but the seafood wasnt fresh. ><
went back and continued the meeting. slept somewhat early after doing some work.
yeah but i decided to sleep on the floor, which was definitely better. (:

day 3
woke up at 8.30.. yeah did my quiet time.
and God somehow told me to do it on Love.
so i did. and this verse somehow struck my heart quite deeply.
1 Corinthians 13:4-7
Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perserveres.
yeah. so it kinda struck me into thinking about alot of things.
and i realise i must be patient, and understanding. because love is not self seeking, and i trust you. (:
yupyup. then packed up and went to a shopping mall to have brunch.
and we ate at Kenny Roger's! like LOL. haha yeah
then came back to spore. but i took almost 4 hours to get all the way home.. ><
i seriously missed you.. :/

then i came home.. and i didnt do any work other than unpacking my bag. -.-
super lazy luh. yeah. ate and dozed off soon after. yeah, another day wasted.

that's all. i dont feel like blogging anymore.
and this is such a long post.
gaah. i think i'll post some pictures in future..
bye.

it's another 3 days

2009-06-16T07:54:00.004+08:00

hello.
hm.. im blogging on the morning that i'll be gone for 3 days. :/
haiz.
yeah.. youth leaders retreat. which is like so slack.
yup. but come to think of it, the itinery makes the 3 days seem really short.
anyw! i think i'll somewhat enjoy myself there. (:
and im awake so early today luhh..
i think it's cause my anxiety levels are running high.
and maybe cause of smth else.

hm. yesterday was a good day i guess..
completed quite alot of physics that i didnt expect i would.
haha yeah.. that's about it.
the social studies thing is scary luh. it's like, 5 sbqs.
i cant even imagine myself doing two. -.-
and things happened, that im unsure of what i should blog in future.
but i doubt that'd change much, cause those stuffs are how i really feel. haha

okay. next 3 days i'll be gone.
hm.. kinda scary luh. and i dont think i'll be quarrantine when i get back right?
yeah. and n. korea is getting increasingly scary.
but life still goes on..
and i'll live each day to the fullest, and enjoy myself.
yup. till thurs and beyond!
see ya folks! take care.

one month! <3

2009-06-14T20:31:00.006+08:00

hey peeps.
im hereby blogging again..
haha. hm. my holidays are fast disappearing..
haiz. and the stack of hw in the corner still looks very daunting.

anyw. friday was overall a better day than thurs. (:
but it was still kinda bleh..
but looking at it positively, i finished all my maths!
hahahah i cant believe it luh. okay, maybe i may be mistaken
but i think i finished. nvm! as long as i think it's done.. haha (:
yea. had bio only.. and we were looking for the keys for the classrooms.
and the office refused to give it to us.
BUT luckily, ms pang came to our rescue! haha
yeah.. watched chinese chess and beat yangyou once.
he quite sad luh. haiz.. but yeah. didnt do any work.
and then, went to tiong for lunch, bought sweet talk
and came back to do emaths, bio mcq and amaths!
haha i did amaths till 7 plus.. and we only left at 8.
haha.. then together with joonguan we went to look for sarah.
and talked about pb camp.. haiz. sorry jg, for not being able to help you much
but i forced him to get the agenda done for sat's meeting.
yup. then we 3 went to tiong to go home.. and gossiped alot. LOL
they kept trying to break my phone lock, but to no avail! hahah

okay. sat.. meeting was somewhat productive.
glad that we settled some things. but there's still the attendance part.
yeah. then went for bio, and church. and you are back! (:
and had steamboat for dinner! hahah
it was really nice.. but i think it might have cause the stomach problem i had today.

sunday. today's the 14th. (:
went to church.. and spent the afternoon doing one pathetic bio paper! -.-
yeah. had to go to the loo a few times.. couldnt concentrate.
gaahh.. i feel so dumb luh. sianz.
yeah. nothing much happened. i thought it'd be better than it had been. haiz.
but still, i must be optimistic. haha

okay. ive nothing much now..
luckily i somehow recovered after a 2 hour nap just now. (:
whee! but had less appetite for dinner.
yup. i better get back to work.
till next time people!
have a happy week ahead!
bye.

missing you..

2009-06-11T23:18:00.002+08:00

hey.
hm.. im blogging after a really long time.
cause tonight seems to be one of the very few nights
where im awake, and my siblings and parents are not beside me.
haha
okay.. life's been okay recently.
yeah, cept that today is somewhat different from the past few days.
kinda alone.
yeah whatever.. OH FAC.
we got SECOND!
lol. i really cant believe it till now luh..
it's like, we train so little. really so little..
to the extent that i think it's so unfair to the other schools who definitely trained harder.
it's like, we got this thru loads of luck, and the fact that our team is still quite bonded.
yeah. so im really satisfied this is how my sj life is gonna end..
hm. not so bad. haha but the loads of silver was kinda irritating.
cause hai sing in front of us, got all gold. -.-

yup. anyw, my holiday is totally flying by luh.
last week was chinese o levels (which i think i flunged!) and training..
oh and sec 1 interview.. which wasnt really what i expected.
i guessed i handled it quite badly.. hm. and i havent send mr kung what he wants yet. :\
then this week, just lessons. which takes up half my day and drains me somehow.
im still stuck behind with amaths luh. like loads of amaths.. and emaths as well.
and ive like an entire stack of hol papers not even sniffed at yet.
im gone man.. seriously.
and next week, gaah. got leaders retreat.. that's 3 days.
and the week after, re exams.. and pb camp. oh my tian.
yeah. total crap.. sorry you hafta read this, whoever you are.

oh on the bright side, i watched 2 movies in 2 days!
(hypocritical right?) haha. night at the musuem and terminator!
for my bro's bday, and jg's belated bday! haha.
btw, sorry joonguan. yeah.. i'll find smth soon. really sorry..
yup. and win's totally crazy about someone luh. lol.

i think i wanna talk about today. i know this is getting really long..
woke up miraculously early this morning.
cause i slept stupidly early last night..
so i had to do my work. and yeah.. it was kinda nostalgic.
haiz. 3 days. :/ missing you very much ♥
then at class, i wasnt really into maths. couldnt even finish a paper in 2 hours.
yeah. then it was chem prac.. everything was kinda mechanical, but somehow fun.
titration! haha then english with ms chia.. which was quite helpful i guess.
yeah. then i had to rush off for music.. and i was late.
and i couldnt concentrate and kept my fingers kept on slipping.
my teacher kinda gave up on me and said that i was too tired.
which i felt too.. sigh. it's like so disappointing luh.
for myself and for my teacher.
and the heat today is totally unbearable. -.-

yeah. i think ive blogged enough, or rather, much more than enough.
i hope you people are spending your time more useful-ly..
and take care of yourselves luh.
and don't you think time really flies? lol.
whatever it is, i hope it will, for these few days.
but i'll be fine.
bye.

lol. thank you

2009-05-24T19:36:00.006+08:00

If you get more than 30, I strongly recommend some counseling.
If you get more than 20, you’re paranoid.
If you get 11-20, you are normal.
If you get 10 or less, you’re fearless.
People who don’t have any are full of crap.
Tag 10 of your friends and find out whether or not they suffer paranoia.

I fear ...

[ ] black people
[ ] the dark
[ ] staying single forever
[ ] being a parent
[ ]being myself in front of others
[ ] open spaces
[x] closed spaces
[ ] heights
[ ] dogs
[ ] birds
[ ] fish
[ ] spiders
[ ] flowers or other plants
Total score:1

I fear:

[ ] being touched
[x] fire
[ ] deep water
[x] snakes
[ ] silk
[ ] the ocean
[ ] failure
[ ] success
[x] thunder/lightning
[ ] frogs/toads
[ ] my boyfriends/girlfriends' dad
[ ] my boyfriends/girlfriends' mom
[x] rats
[ ] jumping from high places
[ ] snow
Total score:4

I fear:

[ ] rain
[ ] wind
[ ] crossing hanging bridges
[x] death
[ ] heaven
[x] being robbed/mugged
[x] falling
[ ] clowns
[x] dolls
[ ] large crowds of people
[ ] men
[ ] women
[ ] having great responsibilities
[ ] doctors
[x]tornadoes
Total score:4

I fear:

[x] hurricanes
[x] incurable diseases
[ ] sharks
[ ] Friday the 13th
[ ] ghosts
[ ] poverty
[ ] Halloween
[ ] school
[ ] trains
[ ] odd numbers
[ ] even numbers
[ ] being alone
[x] becoming blind
[x] becoming deaf
[ ] growing up, old
Total score:4

I fear:

[x] creepy noises in the night
[x]not accomplishing my dreams/goals
[ ] needles
[ ] blood
Total score:2

so my total score is 15
hm.. okay.

haha. tagged by eelin to do this?
and the 10 lucky pple to do this:
hm.. if youre looking at this now and you feel that urge to do it, then DO IT!
im not gonna list names.. relax.

alright..
hey people! havent blogged for a longlong time.
okay.. maybe just relatively long.
the week has been hectic.
crazy even..
so many many things has happened and i cant really rmb.
yeah, pb, sj, o levels, maths olympiad, fac.
wa. yeah.. my events have been somewhat connected to these.
so crap busy.
dont wanna talk about it.
cause pple might have it worse, and i shouldnt complain.
really tired still. mentally, physically, emotionally..

OH HAPPY BIRTHDAY DAD!
i know you probably wont see this.. but nvm.
i hope you'll stay happy and will forever walk closely with God!
thank you for everything dad.. (;

okay.
you know,
ive this feeling..
that im gonna disappoint some pple really soon.
which is really bad.
i dont know why.. i hope it's just a feeling.
cause i totally detest it.
im sorry, whoever you are.

okay enough.
my mood has been totally wrecked by smth..
i dont know what it is, so crap it.
bye.

please dont do this to me. i really want this to go on.. i hate to disappoint you, which i think i alr have, many times even. sorry..
and despite of everything, im not gonna complain, cause i think im very lucky, that you're in my life. thank you ♥. (:

resultsresults

2009-05-18T21:30:00.002+08:00

im blogging once again!
lol. hm..
well, today im feeling bittersweet!
or sweetbitter..
results are all back except eng paper 1.
all were quite okay i guess.. cept eng and chinese.
haiz. and they're so irritating can.. ><
edward and ys especially.. cant stop your rambles huh.
hai. even ms pang thinks it's irritating!
so spare my poor soul. LOL.
i dont wanna get complacent.. im still a mile away to the finishing point.

yup. stayed back really late today..
to do cca thingys (though im alr late to submit it)
and some physics spa, and chinese chess-ed with dexing.
haha it was fun.. and dexing, you needa chill more. take it easy man!
then went to buy foolscap paper.. with jg advising me on which to buy.
but there were like so many choices.
and i only finally decided when i realised i didnt have much money. haha
then topped up ezlink.. and went home.
mind was cramped with so many stuffs on the way home.
luckily my dinner cheered me up.. haha
so yay! (:
im fine.. and i think i shouldnt have sent what i just sent, knowing it'd surely be too sudden.
gaaah. -bangs head- help..

am i doing the right thing?

2009-05-17T23:49:00.004+08:00

hey people!
it's the end of another week..
and a week nearer to o lvls.
well, results are mostly back.
mostly good cept eng and chinese..
and probably chem as well.
hai. these are the impt subjects!
dont wanna die cause of them..

anyw, ytd was a long day.
hm.. woke up at 5.45
called jg and dx..
thankfully they were not sleeping like pigs.
then meeting.. which was bad. i think ms pang was really disappointed.
but really luh.. kinda no time during this period.
although it seemed easy, it isnt since we all couldnt meet up till fri.
had physics after that.. crap.
im still not done with the steric acid.
i think there's smth wrong with my comp? sian.
yeah whatever. then went to hq.
nobody had fa kits.
everything was quite screwed..
no place to train, school cannot train.
like wth. but whatever..
still trained a lil. did 50 and was alr very tired.
tingxin talked to us about smth? cant really rmb alr.. sorry.
then went to church sweaty.. eeww. -.-
then went home. saw manu win the league,
without winning arsenal. ><
thanks. (:

today.. hm.
i guess the only interesting thing was the recce.
yup. we kinda played alot instead of discussing.
so there's still a ton to be done.
yup. i think that's all.
oh, and my mom was 'abusing' my face? lol.
yup nothing else.

tmr probably gonna get back most of the other papers.
i hope i dont screw ss and lit. and chem..
haiz. and there's a hell lot of chinese tmr.
and in the near future as well.. AHH!
my guitar pick up is spoilt.. i must rmb to fix it soon.
yeah.

ive nothing else now.
life is like a frisbee!
that's so random..
yeah whatever.
bye.

am i doing the 'right' thing? i really dont know. trying as well.. but i'll persevere on. hopefully we will get on better.. or maybe i shouldnt have this desire at all. but how not to? im somewhat discouraged. :( and it's probably my fault. im sorry.
still dont know what to do, so many many things on my mind. i really suck. crap.

it's still the 14th may (:

2009-05-14T21:29:00.004+08:00

i really didnt expect this..
but somehow im glad.
thank you! (:

hey people!
and im back home..
haha. went to watch angels and demons at great world
with edd, ben, ys and jg.
lol. it was okay.. cept that jg kept suaning me about the catholics.. -.-
yeah. im not even a catholic luh.. lol.
go suan mr lim bun. haha
oh and we saw our head prefect and our good friend.
haha crazy people running arnd great world..
and i accidentally collided into a SAM
some "word" i learnt today..
go figure. haha

yup. and they went to play bball
while i came home..
cause i was afraid my dad would flare if i came back late.
he wanted to bring me to the MUSEUM this morning!
oh gosh..
yeah. but i felt really bad rejecting him..
): he seemed so disappointed?
he was like, "i cant control you anymore.." when i was going out.
hai.

anyway! today has been alright i guess..
really eventful.
and i think i'll rmb this day for a long time..
haha
lets hope tmr will be a good day, somehow miraculously.
bye!

14th may

2009-05-14T10:55:00.005+08:00

it's the 14th today.
hai.
and again, im sorry.
i feel so darn horrible.. :/
but i'll hold it back. try to keep it within me..

HEY!
Rejoice people!
cause the exams are officially over..
for now at least. (:
well, i cant believe im sitting at home on this lovely thursday blogging.
-.-
but nvm, hopefully joon guan plans something soon.
yup.
i cant blog very long today..
my dad is kinda right beside me.
bleh!
i hope i can go out later (if we come up with smth..)

and oh my tian.
tmr's is the day we're gonna get more papers back.
i dont wanna die!!

yeah.
that's all i have for this short post.
enjoy yourselves people!
bye.

posting again, so soon

2009-04-17T22:23:00.003+08:00

hm.
you know.. as ive just been blogsurfing. and im seeing oh so many things that are so unbelievable. like, there seems to be no or little of such things in my year. it's really amazing. and insane. i dont know these people like i knew them before.. or maybe i never knew them.. and it's just so perculiar at how people look at things now, specifically some of the sec 3s. im not criticising anyone.. it's just the entire picture hit me, and i can only stand in awe. i dont know what to do, and maybe i totally dont needa do anything. i dare to say "try putting yourself in our shoes".. cause i have been thru what some of you have been thru. and i seriously tolerated it. did i not have it as hard as you all are having it? hm. maybe.. yeah. i dont know. cause im after all not you. well, perhaps i shouldnt care so much. but can i not care?

hello pple.
hm.. im just blogging cause i dont feel like doing anyt else.
i seriously wanna rant out everything that's inside.
but then again, maybe i shouldnt be adding misery to ppl's life.
hai. whatever..

on the bright side,
ive been doing quite okay for my tests
in particular last week's test!
haha actually only the past week's test was good. (:
hm.. tues: phy, wed: chem, thurs: bio and amaths.
and all were quite good.
haha.. maybe cause it's was the good friday week or smth.
lol. what a coincidence. (:
but yeah.. okay i better stop bef pple accuse me of being proud.
lol. actually i still have lotsa catchup to do..

yeah. im done.
short post this will be.
bye.
all the bests for the coming mid years!

it's just not life

2009-04-12T19:17:00.005+08:00

hey people.
im hereby blogging again..
cause i feel kinda guilty for not blogging so long.
or maybe guilty of something more.
yeah whatever.
basically, ive got no mood to do this.
cause life is just not life recently.
things are really happening now,
that's causing me to really doubt my choices.
btw. this is gonna be a veryveryvery long post.
stop here if you dont have time to waste..
lol. im serious.

next 3 paragraphs is all about my rantings of pb.
dont bother to read them if.. er.
no nvm. just dont bother to read them.

firstly. prefectorial board.
what does being a prefect mean to me?
lol. it really means a lot. i dont know why it does.
i totally dislike being treated the way i am by gessians.
so many times i just wanna wash my hands.
maybe it's the people holding me back.
and the fact that i wanna do smth for the board.
and for the school, although the school kinda sucks now.

and i asked a few people (two to be exact),whether they feel a sense of belonging to pb.
ive constantly been asking myself that. and yes i totally do.
and so does the rest of the exco!
it's kinda unbelievable, but i dont think they'd lie in the circumstances.
mr kung was asking us that day, why do we wanna stay where we are.
we finally concluded it was because of this deep sense of belonging.
and he said that it was lame. -.-
like come on. i know it is, but it's so true.
well, come to think of it, i dont think the current sec 3s share this same mindset.
mostly anyway. (i dont wanna generalise)
and. i really dont know what to do! i really really dont!
i know there's no use forcing anymore. cause the heart is long gone with the winds.
encourage? and they'd probably not listen.
or if they do, it's because they just dont wanna disappoint us.
so what am i left with? sit down and do nothing.
but how can i do that,
when they're after all my friends, or even to the extent of more than just friends?
i guess this is really what you call helpless.

and mr kung. i dont know what he's thinking.
i really dont. i cant disclose much here.. so nvm.
it's just that i dont understand him much.
although i know he's a person with feelings definitely.
a caring person.. but i can say, it doesnt show much.
like say, last night, scouts campfire.
he wouldnt receive a badge that we, the exco, made for him,
unless we accepted his condition?
lol. is like we're forcing him to take our gift..
seriously, ive never knew it was so difficult to give him something.
it's sad, maybe cause i dont put in much effort to understand him as well.
oh wells.

enough about pb then.
3 paragraphs is bad enough..
im sorry if you couldnt skip it.
yeah.. anyw, this weekend is such a meaningful one.
well, aside from all the above mentioned,
ive really tried to separate the world with my life with God.
and that's something im thankful for.
it'd be quite hateful to carry such a pathetic face throughout these 3 days.

so! it was GOOD FRIDAY!

haha. i never really thought why it was called good friday.
but i realised it on 10 april 2009!
it's really good and not sad/bad/sorrowful.
although Jesus died, it is good cause he is actually victorious.
victorious over sin, and the evil world. (:
haha. yeah.. sermon was great. woo!
after that went out with some pple to watch fast & furious 4.
hm.. lishanth, edd, ben, ys, sultan, ashwath and win.
lol. the movie wasnt really good. but lishanth's laughter was insane.
like so loud and attention seeking? haha then went to eric's house.
thanks eric! wa. he's super nice.. and it was fun. though i kept losing in fifa.
haha whatever. it's the experience. (:

then. it was SATURDAY!

carnival day! haha.. it wasnt so good i suppose.
but im glad there were quite a handful of new frens.
and i hope they were all greatly blessed. (:
then scouts campfire. not so organised and blah.
and quite smokey as well.
but had quite a good time with the sj pple.
haha yeah. talked at the coffeeshop opp tiong.
till 10.45? thereabouts.. then went home.

and today. easter!

Jesus is risen from the dead! WoO!
yeah. he is ressurrected..
proving that he has conquered all things including death!
"peace be with you." (John 20:19;21)
haha. what an appropriate phrase in our modern world now.
yep. nothing much after that.. boring i know.

okayokay. humongous post.
im sorry. horrid horrid habit of mine.
have fun and continue to live a fruitful life! lol.
God bless.

long post after a long time

2009-03-29T19:03:00.003+08:00

Yo! peeps out there!
what's up man! woo!
im trying to be -ahem- cool here.
cause i know this freakin dead blog is super -uncool-

yeah whatever. im sure you guys are rolling your eyes
looking at the above.
anyway. hello!
it's been such a long time..
well who cares! haha
okayokay.. i do maybe.

rambling nonsense!
life's been really busy..
and i end up turning on the comp to do my work only!
tis so darn sad!
yeah.. homework's been crazy!
cept maths maybe..
okay it's crazy as well, but im doing them crazily too!
so it's still okay.
as for the others, well, lets NOT talk about them. (:

i cant rmb all the long ago stuffs le.
so i'll just blog about ytd.
it was a real long day.
hm.. sat. i didnt know about physics till friday!
wow! anyw, i didnt know which to go for
olympiad (boring!) or physics (boring to a certain extent as well)
yeah. at the end, went for olympiad first then phy.
with eric and lisin. yeah so i couldnt have gone wrong! (:
yeah whatever.. lcb was educating (what a nice word!) on a software
about electricitY! it was really exciting!
and SPARKLING! yeah.. i could really see the sparks.
and the current flowing. and the potential diff!
woo! amazing right?! yeah..
you get the idea.

okay. then went for zone 4 FAC.
dennis chua was there.. -.-
he was funnily weird. haha
anyw, the case we could see was quite simple.
1. open fracture on shin, closed fracture on forearm
2. internal haemorrhage in abdomen
3. cardiac arrest
yeah.. but there was an AED there.
which many pple failed to use it promptly.
sad.. and we dont know anyt about it!
i really hafta get someone to teach us.
maybe dennis chua will. haha

then reached church just 5 min late!
wow! yeah.. service was nice. about the love culture we should be having.
hai. that's kinda sad..
and i hope youre really okay. reallyreally.
anyw. i went for swimming after that.
lots and lots of water went into my nose!
but yeah! it's gonna be over soon!
tuesday's the day! (:
then went home to eat and then couldnt take it past 11.
hence i 'died' on my bed subsequently.

yeah. one quite packed day of my life.
hai.. today was much better. thankfully.
but my dad's on his way to KL for his training.
haha. he's like still in school.
and this is a 27 day exchange programme.
haha. but it's a heck of a long time.. ):
and i didnt get to send him off cause i had tuition!!

yeah. anyw, life's been okay.
quite sad nowadays..
and fun too (thankfully).
yep.. i better not ramble too much.
i know you all dont like this long, once a blue moon post.
sorry. yeah..
take care peeps.
bye.

a longlong time

2009-02-21T00:44:00.002+08:00

hello people.
i have decided to update..
hm. maybe cause there are lotsa tags.
ive been quite lazy to blog..
and nothing to blog about lately too.
so yeah. im sorry..
anyw, life's been a bore.
really heart-wrenching at times,
but i guess im still okay. still there.

went for planetshakers worship night last sunday!
quite explosive.. maybe a lil too loud.
but i really liked it. cause i was really praising my heart out.
haha. yeah bought a couple of cds.
ive got their new album! the acoustic version of beautiful saviour!
haha.. really like free.
cause jesus is my saviour
he set me free forever!
yeah.. in quite trying times now.
in almost every aspect,
study,cca,stuffs, etc.
IT's BY YOUR GRACE AND POWER
THAT YOU SET ME FREE!

it's just so cool.
i dont know.. im listening to the disc now.
with my guitar across my lap.
haha. it really makes me happier! to a certain extent.
cause there's freedom in the name of jesus!

yeah i dont know what else to blog.
school is crazy.. tests are like insane.
5 next week i think.. ss, emaths, chem, amaths, lit, phy spa assessment.
!!!!

oh. i better reply some tags.
im really sorry.. i dont visit my own blog too.
hm.. from the oldest one?.. k. wow.

yy: haha. youre contradicting. i cant be ur stupid son and be smart too! so yeah.. i'll just stick with the first part. that means my parents cant be any better.. i think.

annoymous: lol. oh come on.. whoever you are. what an immature behaviour. and you dont even know how to spell your name. so i doubt whatever you typed is of any concern to you.

yangyu: of course appreciate mr lim bun! he rocks! haha.

edward: lol. ive got nothing to say but sorry.

vanessa: haha. well.. most of "mala's" class are quitting.. sad right? ):

kalai: lol. i just wanted to make it more realistic. yeah.. i thought it was fun as well. hai. you pple ar.. just concentrate on your first aid la. LOL

nabil: WHaT?!! lol. what sarah and jinyan?!! dont spout crap k? i seriously dont wanna get into any trouble whatsoever.. haha

wardina: hey! um.. happy belated valentine's day.

mavis: HELLO MAVIS! haha.. will link once im done with this.. (: cool blog url. hahah

edward: whatever can.. come on my fren.

jessica: youre welcome.

nabil: hello! hm.. you can say im still considering.

haha. thanks guys!
despite this being a virtually dead blog..
my tagboard is swarmed with tags! amidst some crap..
nvm though..
okay. till next time (which is probably another 10987 years)
bye!

dead..

2009-01-31T23:31:00.003+08:00

a dead blog.
precisely the case..
ive just hardly got the time..
anyw, hello.

tiring week. as expected.
lotsa things happened that i cant really rmb.
well. im beginning to start my hw again!
yay! (: actually, it's just maths only.
but it feel like ive done alotalot.
hahahah. however, i still cant beat some pple like edward and weilun.
who does the work to be handed in tmr TODAY.
im just doing it on time.

i wanna talk about mr lim bun!
haha i think he's a really cool person.
except for his words. yeah...
maybe he doesnt know how to express himself better.
cause he's usually veryvery cold. and his jokes..
hm. no one laughs at them.
and that's the FUNNY thing! cause he will laugh at himself to his amaths book.
still. he's still really cool.
he ran 20 rounds round the school that day. and i was videoing him.
will show it to you some other time.
haha he was calling me paparazzi or smth.
i felt evil. but yeah.. he's a maths genius. obviously.
and i think he's caring. i dunno..
ive been asking him lotsa questions. and he sometimes seem irritated.
but mostly, hm. i dun see it.
so yea.GO MR LIM! stay healthy and happy man..

chinese new year this year didnt feel like cny at all.
i dont know why.. the spirit just wasnt there.
yeah. kinda lethargic.. but still cool.
and i wanna play mahjong. but i havent got the chance.
hai. my uncle came during dinner with the huge family.
helped me with my guitar.. (im freakin noob can..)
yeah. i wanna buy a strap, capo and a stand!
haha.

todays msg at youth was hm. okay i guess.
was the greeter.. and really screwed up alot of things.
i was helping with the communion today.. and then,
the bread and wine RAN OUT! omg. like..really omg.
it was really awkward.. i didnt know what to say either.
yeah. the message was about how God looks at me.
and i should stop the appearance,performance and status based acceptance.
yeah. really difficult.. hai. im learning i guess..
maybe cause im lacking time with God. ):

well. this post is getting too long.
stress is really building up.
especially st john.
so manymanymany things.. sometimes i dont know what to think at all.
hai. whatever
better stop now. till another time i decide to post.
bye.

i was at your blog again.
what has happened to the 'old' you?

i must really stop this.

a change?

2009-01-19T00:09:00.001+08:00

alright. hey guys.
im blogging again.. hm. after one week
so it's time for the weekly review.

well. hm.. this week was quite.. i dont know.
alot of things have happened.
monday: i dont really rmb.
tues: i only rmb sj trng
wed: lit? oh the lit video.. which was quite horrid.
thurs: nothing in my mind.
fri: sj trng. that's about it..
sat: st andrew orientation. being so late for youth service. ><
sun: late for church again.. tuition. sleeping at grandma's house. and cut hair!

so it's mostly sj again..
it was quite nice. sas sjab had lotsa nice pple.
sir pay said he'd be the hooligan.. but he wasnt.
he was showing us some magic tricks.
some of which was quite obvious. heh
fd was quite nice.. yeah. the sec 1s there were so guai.
wanted to swim there.. sis swam there on friday. LOL
tortured by ek and yy. crazy insanity..

okay. i dun wanna elaborate more.. it's getting boring.
anyw. was trying desperately to find out about sec 1 cca trial thing..
whether they are coming on tues or not.
ask mr ng, mr teo, joonguan, dexing.
but kinda everyone not sure.
and the two teachers.
said they'd get back to me after checking with mr goh.
but that was a load of crap. it hasnt happened anyway..
yeah whatever. hm.. lets take it as they are busy, spending time with their family.

well. today's sermon was quite fabulous.
i learnt alot.. i learnt more of being submissive to god.
putting him on the throne of my life is so not easy.
especially when things arent going my way.
but elder edwin said that
god will use all pple around me to make me dependant on Jesus.
he will use them to make me submit myself to Jesus, letting Him have control.
like the teachers for instance.
so. i was desperately trying to find ways to get the answer i wanted.
but till now, nothing much i have gotten.
so i think i will kinda leave it. we'll just plan for the sec 1s to come.
and whatever happens, i know it is in His almightly plan.
yay! (:

haha. kk..
such a long post. making up for not posting the whole week.
yup. take care guys!
i hope your hw progress is better than mine.
bye.

i dunno why. but i feel much better this week.
haha (:

):

2009-01-10T08:37:00.004+08:00

hello.
im posting in a long long time again..
have no mood nowadays. hence ive a dead blog and a dead tagboard.
oh wells. who cares anyway?

hm. i just realised smth.
yeah.. i once thought maybe there was smth..
maybe there was smth i could look forward to.
but nope. i dont think so. it never was..
and it probably never will.
still, i'll continue walking.
maybe i shouldnt have wasted my time.

yeah. fine..
first week of school is utterly depressing.
homework i still havent done. from the hols.
plus new hw. it's madness.
and there was sj orientation.. which i wasnt really overjoyed about.
there are somemore stuffs next week. lit is killing me.
i feel im breaking. or smth..

i dont wanna post these depressing stuffs.
so! sj was quite fun.. hm. the prep for orientation
ytd's duty for ace camp. i enjoyed myself tremendously.
jiansheng was a good facil and the sec 1s were mostly happy i guess.
they were really fun people. (:
well there were the moments that got me quite pissed.
not during the race, but before it.
when i learnt about somebody's madness. how he did it quite blew me away.
you dont do something like this even if you love that person alot. it's wrong.. totally.
utterly disgusted.

life seems more boring this year.
4H kinda bores me.. the classroom isnt nice.
everyone seems to be studying.
yeah. i wonder how this year's gonna be like.
really want it to have real meaning.

and that's all i have.
take care loads everyone.
bye.

just dont get it

2008-12-30T23:00:00.003+08:00

hey there. updating since quite a long time!
nvm. impt thing is.. im updating.
so yeah. today kinda sucked.
hm. woke up on time.. (:
got to school early.. (:
training started quite smoothly.. (:
having fun and POLISHING up fancy drill.. (:
then screw it. lol.
about the nagging thingy, im really sorry.
to the entire corp, im sorry.
it was my mistake.. i couldnt say no.
i let it happened, when i knew i shouldnt.
maybe i even wanted it to happen, when i knew i shouldnt.
so in the end, 'he' scolded all of us instead of scolding just me.
im really sorry.

im afraid i just cant stand him.
i just simply dont get it..
i know you guys dont know what to think,
so i suggest you just let it go, and just be dedicated.
that's all i ask.
you guys know he was spouting some crap..
well, whatever. decipher them yourself at your own discretion.
i hope you will still coorperate.
thank you.

ive no mood to post anything else.
im feeling crappy to be posting this..
but i think i owe you guys an explanation.
dont take everything to heart..

bye.

finally. (:

2008-12-28T17:26:00.000+08:00

it's the 28th today.. (:

waste of time?

2008-12-23T22:51:00.003+08:00

hey.
i think my blog is literally dead..
cause ive not been blogging at all.
too tired, or no time.
or i just didnt feel like.

past few days was quite okay
monday went to sentosa
quite fun. i enjoyed myself immensely..
even though they were all being idiots.
hai. but they're fun! im glad.. (:
and. edward pang didnt get into the water!
like wth..
you go to a beach but dont go into the sea.
lol. we tried to convince..
but he was as stubborn as a mull.
gave up at the end.. we realised it was pointless to force him.
went back to vivo. wanted to watch twilight..
but was late and there was a huge queue.
ended up just having pizza at pizza hut.
edward was driving sharon and jinyan mad.
ben was doing the same to yanli.
ryan just sat there and laughed. (:
but i got horrendously tortured too.. at some point of time.

today was not that happening i guess.
went to school at 8am cause of the meeting.
here all the crap.. and fancy drill and stuffs.
and sir pei.
wasnt supposed to come down at all.
left at 9.30.. and was inevitably late for my church trng.
hai. but it was quite funny..
learnt alot. quite different from leadership in the secular world.
im thinking maybe im not ready or smth.
hai. waiting on God? kinda afraid.
oh. i thought it'd be 2 plus hours.
but it was supposed to end at 5!!!
panicked but managed to ask pastor to end it earlier.
got out by 3.. went home changed. and took the bus.
my dad was kinda telling me i was a lil stupid
doing what i did. going back and forth, and wasting my time..
but i still went. and i missed the bus!!
so i chased the bus! by going on another bus!
hahahaha
and by god's grace we caught up.. and i reached school arnd 3.40.
trng was quite depressing for me.
ac2 was kinda fine.. but i didnt have enough time, sadly.
ac1 didnt really see them, but during case and games, ... i guess they were just tired.
yeah after that took a long walk to sj room to put back fa kit and ball, then went home.

post getting way too long.
sorry.
bye..

i was greatly discouraged.
really. still quite sore about it.
like why? why does it seem so different?
i really hope it wasnt a waste of my time, nor of anyone else's.

really missing you.
quickly!
but have fun..

back

2008-12-19T01:00:00.005+08:00

hey guys! haha
im back from america!
i guess that's a good thing..
it was okay i guess..
a lot of high tension periods..
when we all got really frustrated? i think..
nvm. it's over.. im back to reality now.

went to universal studios, disneyland, and shopping.
that's about all we did.. we were also travelling from one place to another most of the time.
yeah. quite crappy.. not a tour, that's why. but at least it's kinda more relaxed. (:
yep. i'll elaborate more another day.. it's kinda too late now.

sj is kinda crappy now..
hm. imagine someone in power tells you,
"i wanna stop ALL training during the holiday so that the cadets can spend time with their families."
WTH. you all probably know alr..
yeah. grrr...

posting that just got me in a not so good mood.
sian. whatever..
gonna sleep now.
bye.

leaving too fast.. oh too fast. ):

kopitiam 316

2008-12-04T15:27:00.003+08:00

people! this is the brochure for the musical!
just come and you'll have loads of fun! i think..

so please! if youre interested, drop me an email at

ryansim01@hotmail.com

and i'll help you guys get the tickets.

ignore the prices there btw.. it'd be free for you! haha.

so yeah.. thanks!
come on guys! it's CHRISTMAS! (:

USA tmr!

2008-12-04T14:26:00.003+08:00

no.. thank YOU very much!
(:
hahaha.

hello guys!
been a lil lazy to blog these few days.
hm.. at times i cant. yeah..
but nah.. most of the time it's cause i just have nothing much to blog about.
well.. i think this would be the last post before i leave..
unless at the airport i am able to use the free internet there for a while..
dunno so yeah.. i'll say bye first.
BYE!

okay whatever.. okay im too high.
it's cause im just so glad..
i dunno why. maybe i do. well whatever..
oh. maybe it's cause im going tmr! hahah
just excited! but sad.. i'll miss the world!
i'll be virtually cut off.. so yeah. ):

yeah. past few days were kinda hm.. different?
tuesday was fun though!
cleaning up pb room..
with all those crazy pple like joonguan.
and jiasheng! and yongxiang!
and sarah! and yangyu!
and leonard! leonard is mad.. trying to create some sorta flamethrower with air salonpas!
hahaha.. we were trying to burn lots of stuffs! LOL.
met crazy sultan also.. cause they were cleaning their drama room too!
i think theirs is worse.. saw fankai. being an insane idiot as always.. but still cool i guess!
hm. yeah pb room is nicer now.
yay! being a logistics head seems so much better now.
thanks to the rest of the exco! (:
went for lunch.. where we talked. hm..
alot about mt kk.. i didnt go!!! crap man..
yx js jg.. wa they like had alot of fun.
then tried convincing them to come for my church's musical.
OH. if anyone wanna come drop me an email k?
i think i'll still access it in the us.
19th dec, friday, 1930h, 3 pasir panjang hill.
PLEASE COME! i need to give away my tickets! ahaha..
or if you want.. sat and sun same time too..
just tell me and i'll get you the tickets okay?
hai. please help me.. heh.

yesterday had piano in the morning.
was quite okay i guess.
then went out to some place.. hm. cant really rmb it now. (:
met some pple. was quite funny.. haha
yeah had lotsa fun! though had unhealthy fast food..
it's supposed to fatten me up. haha

oh im going to america for those who dunno.
hm. california state. and florida state.
three cities: LA, miami, orlando.
i hope i'll have fun!
if not i'll be quite sad. hm i think..
LA is 16 hours behind spore.
miami is 13 hours behind spore.
orlando same as miami i think..
it's gonna be weird! hopefully i wont get jetlag..
if im not wrong, i'll be 16-18 hours away from spore!
almost halfway across the world i think..

and talking about long.. i just realised this post is becoming too long!
i must apologise for wasting 3-5 mins of your precious time.
but thanks anyways.. haha
i feel weird.. maybe cause im high. or smth..
okay.
bye guys!
see ya.. hm. when we're all back!

fat

2008-11-29T23:36:00.003+08:00

haha.
hey pple! im blogging again!
and it's cause.. the internet is alright!
ive been having this internet prob..
over the past few days.
BUT
my super dad took care of it a few hours ago.
so glad. i couldnt configure all the crap.. and the acronyms. (wrong spelling right?)
anyway. yay! im connected to the world.
and so is edward.
im just glad he's fine. seriously.
but it looks as if the situation is getting a lil better? hm.. hopefully.

btw guys.
for those who thinks im not fat, or that im super thin.
i agree with you!
i dunno whats the problem with my body.
well, i ate almost 2 packets of rice for lunch today!
with almost half a chicken!
so it is clear i eat alot. really alot.
for dinner i almost took a second plate, had i not stopped myself since i ate so much for lunch.
it's weird. maybe it's high metabolism rate or smth..
i hope im fine. hai.

and these few days,
having practically nothing to do at home,
i did the most convenient thing.
SLEEP! and i did alot of it.
and because of that, ive been having sleepless nights!
in the sense that i cant sleep cause.. im wide awake. or maybe stress?
but nvm. i think it's normal. it should be..

okay. ive nothing else.
yeah my life is only, that much.
sj is quite screwed.. for me at least, and i dun wanna talk about it.
actually no, it isnt sj. it's just a few pple in sj.
no prizes for guessing so dun bother.
cause i dont really care either.

enjoy yourself folks! even if you happen to be in thailand..
bye.

afraid

2008-11-27T16:51:00.002+08:00

hey guys.
haha.. im bored!
yeah.. the 2nd thing i said is that iM BORED!
okay. fine who cares?
before fdc, i was thinking about it
dreaming about it
practising it.
now after fdc
ive practically nothing to do at home.
but it's okay..
but it's not, cause ive been sleeping alot.
really lerthargic like forever.
and i think im getting fat, though it isnt showing.
cause i eat way too much, but im not exercising way too much.
or maybe the fats are clogging up my arteries or smth..

last night was horrid.
in summary, my parents and us (me and my 2 siblings) sat in the living room
and talked for 1hr 30min STRAIGHT.
i almost went bonkers..
it was more of a reprimanding session though.
left me a lil pissed off too.
hai.
still, woke up this morning and everything seemed better.
thankfully?

okay. i read about all the thailand crap.
and im really worried.
cause if im not wrong, win and edward are there.
i dunno.. but im just afraid.
hoping nothing would happen. hai.
like come on, what a time to go to 'the land of smiles'!
lets hope they're fine..

alright. before this post gets too long,
i shall end here.
im trying to rid of my bad habit! (:
lol. okay.. i hope you guys are enjoying your holidays more than me.
bye.

fdc!

2008-11-23T00:31:00.002+08:00

okay. today was the bi-annual zone 10 footdrill competition 2008.
it was.. terrifying. i was honestly petrified at the grounds actually.
but i was somehow not exactly stressed or nervy.. dunno why.
maybe it's God's peace, which transcends all understanding and guards my heart. (:
haha. still, im quite glad, though terribly terribly disappointed.
we broke the run.. couldnt get the 3rd consecutive win.
well i agree with what sir lee said. let's rmb this lesson and learn from it.
however, i dont agree with something else.
something like
this comp is nothing.. and that no one will rmb this by the next few months.
cause
1. if this comp is nothing, we wouldnt have put in the effort to train.
maybe it wasnt alot of effort, but still im sure it is evident. the efforts that have been put in by so many of them in the squad must be recognised.
2. i think this experience will never be completely forgotten, cause i believe we did our best, put in our best efforts. and that's is the most impt thing.

to my fdc squad:
hey. well.. it's all over now. and, im just so thankful i see all of you guys grow and gave your absolute best. i mentioned before that the most impt thing in this whole experience isnt the final result of the trophy. i said something else was much much more impt than this. and after today, i really hope you all have realised it. Realised that whatever it is, you have improved tremendously. Realised that the process of training for today was fulfilling, and that you guys have not wasted it. Realised that we can be so strong as one, and that this spirit should never die down.
next, im really sorry for being such a lousy commander. i feel i havent done enough to really improve ourselves. and for that, i apologise. i also dont exactly know how to really talk to you guys too. yeah. sorry. and i know you guys are happy for me, and i thank you. but i hope you all will be happy for yourselves too. im sure 2nd is no small feat.
lastly, some of you dont hafta come and apologise to me. it's totally fine that you guys made mistakes. i made some mistakes too.. it's normal. it's just the way it is. it could have been prevented,but on this particular day, it happened.. and i dont blame you.
YOU GUYS HAVE DONE WELL, AND I REALLY HOPE YOU ALL TAKE BACK WITH YOU ALL THESE EXPERIENCES. DONT EVER GIVE UP ON THE SMALLEST SETBACK LIKE THIS. BOUNCE RIGHT BACK UP AND STAY STRONG!

ALRIGHT?

k. so once you guys see this, and if you agree with what i say, then reply k? i want you guys to shout in my tagboard! like how you guys can shout so loudly!

i shall not drag this post any longer.
thank you guys! ((:
okay. gonna sleep.
hai. tiredtired..
bye.

tired.. really!

2008-11-18T22:12:00.002+08:00

hey.
im sorry for all the emo posts..
actually is it really emo? i dun think so.
it's just not happy mood.
neither is this gonna be anyway.
maybe it'll get better after the comp.

comp this sat.
22 nov 2008.
wow.. really wow.
training every single day this week.
i really dont know.. im really unsure.
but what im sure of, is that
we are all trying our best.
maybe not all the time, but at least most of the time. in my opinion at least.
so thank you, fdc squad, seriously for all the time and effort you guys put in.
take sir lee's advice seriously.. the rest of it, just chuck it in the drain.

sorry for not coming down today.
i was feeling not too well.
i dont know why..
i hope you guys learnt alot.
come on! the trophy is there to be won by us! (:

had pb camp till ytd..
slept oh so little.
so many things happened in the camp.
you've no idea.. i dont know what you were doing.. but the way i see it, you were not the same person i knew. my impression of you has totally changed, 180 degrees turn.
and you.. youre with us, as sec 3s, as seniors in the board, but your actions during this camp totally, totally made me lose respect for you.
horrid things. i hope the prefects will not be affected.
our meetings were mad. we only had about 4 hr of sleep in 2 days.
quite cool! after the camp though (trng in my case)
we went to sleep in the career guidance room.
haha. few of us slept till 4pm.. then went tiong eat.
my stomach after that damn pain, when i was going back to school.
so i chiong. i reached school saw my dad's car, dumped my crap in there
and chionged to the arena toilet!
haha! wa.. really horrifying and fearful feeling.
fear i might do something so embarrasing in public.. O_O

okay. i'll cut short my post here.
i must go for trng tmr! okay.. -stops-
if not i'll ramble on and on and on..
so have fun pple.
bye.

just the way it is

2008-11-12T12:36:00.003+08:00

i guess.. there are some things in life
that are just too far away from me.
maybe it's because i didnt try enough
maybe it's just the way it is.

hey guys. i havent been blogging since ages because:
1: MY PARENTS AND BROTHER HOG THE COMP FROM NIGHT TILL DAY!
2: im just too bored and tired..
3: nothing reaallyy interesting happened cept for the sl camp.

so yeah. this is a horridly LONG LONG post. if you dont mind continue!
if you have better & more interesting things to do pls go ahead and do them..

oh i just came back from a night at my class chalet!
it was totally AWESOME! and INCREDIBLE!
that for most of the time, we were ALL doing our own things!
i dont mean to be mean..
i guess those who organised it should deserve some credit.
im sure it wasnt easy at all.. so CLAPS for them!
chenxinyi! val and cheryl? (i think)
i guess chalet for the last two years was almost the same.
sec 1 it was really small, but it was somehow fun.
sec 2 it was really big, and things were somehow different back then.
sec 3 it was really small (again), and..
so how will sec 4 2g chalet be? or will there be none of it.. ):
i know im complaining alot and moaning alot.
i may be wrong though, cause i only see the surface of it.
and even though it was boring, i still wanna go back there. there's this tiny feeling.
it's weird. but yeah. then again,
i looked arnd, and i ask, "where's 2g?"
and i ask, "is this really a '2G' chalet?"
okay. fine enough of that. cause i know there's nothing we can do about it alr.

yeah. reached at arnd 8 plus ytd..
ate some bbq stuffs.. mostly not really cooked.
but it was nice. (Thanks weiting)
then couldnt find a place to sleep.
tried sleeping in the room on the cold hard floor..
but it was simply too cold. so i went out and tried to find a suitable sleeping posture.
i was lying here and there, moving arnd cause my limbs were becoming numb.
soon i couldnt sleep anymore and michael suggested cycling.
so jiasheng, ben, him, and myself went out.
watched arsenal totally wallop wigan at a coffeeshop, with some food and tea.
then it rained. then it stopped and we went back.
and i fell. AGAIN!
wanted to sleep really badly, finally found a really comfortable position on the couch.
slept for about 45 min. and when i woke, my spine felt like it was breaking.
and i realised i had been sleeping against the wooden frame of the couch.
took the train to clementi for my lesson.. was practically half/totally dead.
dragged myself home and yeah.

my father lost/resigned from his job.. but he's still so busy.
i dont know why.. im quite worried for him.
yeah. it's just so weird.

oh an incident occurred not too long ago. (you dun hafta read this.. just some thoughts)
my aunty invited us for dinner, all of us including my grandfather.
upon reaching, i realised there was no special occasion, and it was a western restaurant.
my grandfather is a TYPICAL chinese man. (YEAH MAN!)
after eating i went to watch the manu-arsenal match on one of those large tv(s)
and after a while, i realised someone bringing my grandfather to one of the couches nearby.
didnt think much into it.. till after the match i decided to just talk to him.
was helping him massage his back and he complained to me about the night.
that he didnt like western food, that they brought him all the way to east coast just for this.
then i started thinking and realising.
i was in horror. how could my grandfather's children act this way?
i mean seriously.. there is no special occasion, you invite your dad out, and then you just dump your dad on a couch and continue your conversations?!
what the heck is this? is this really the way they want to be treated in the future by their children?
although my grandfather didnt voice out all these, im sure he must have felt this way.
being left out by everybody, including myself (i was too engrossed with soccer..)
i was seriously burning with anger and filled with sadness.
i went there and asked when we were leaving.
they said 'now now now'.. and then after 10 min they were still there!
how could i account to my grandfather?
we soon left and my grandfather (88 yrs OLD!!!) could walk faster than the whole lot of them.
they were chattering behind, not exactly even caring about their OWN FATHER.
this fact alone made me so mad that i almost blew my top in the car after we left.
after my outrage came tears. i dunno why it came. but it did..
i mean is this really the way one should treat his/her parents after so many years of tireless upbringing?
maybe i'll follow their example.. and do the same. and i'll be as horrid as them.. i wont know now.
but i hope i will not. if i do, i hope i'll rmb this day and change the way it might have becomed.

long post. im sorry.. especially the last part.
you shouldnt be wasting your time.
but yeah.
till another time, which might be in the next millenium or smth..
bye.

isnt that good is it?

2008-10-30T21:07:00.002+08:00

gaahh!
oh pls..
get a life.
i got so freakin pissed
not because you kept making us restart.
oh no, that i understand.
it's the stupid fact
that you dont have any idea what you are saying.
you have absolutely NO idea that you say things that really kills.
the tongue is indeed the sharpest spear.
do you REALLY think i HECK CARE?
oh for goodness sake, dont use your kidneys to think.
do you REALLY think we are ALL not interested, all HECK CARE?
oh for goodness sake, dont use your bottom to think.
do you REALLY think ALL of us CHOOSE not to come for training?
oh for goodness sake, dont use your feet to think.
you dont know what youre doing.
you dont know what youre saying.
i dont care?
oh really? you wait and see..
there might come a time REALLY SOON
where i WONT care AT ALL.
fine. maybe im a lousy commander.
i accept that.. but to say
I DONT CARE ABOUT MY SQUAD
I DONT CARE HOW MANY PPLE ARE THERE
really really drives me insane.
yeah. good luck to us..
hm. i accept your well wishes.

okay.
-breathes-
that's only one part of my life.
i shall not let it affect the rest of my life.
alright.
ive not been posting cause ive been coming back late
and been really tired
and been really lazy.
but whatever..
and i havent replied like millions of tags.
im sorry.
i'll do that now.. heh

louiza: hey louiza! um.. hm. haha(:
cher: nah.. i didnt. well im going ravingly mad now..
yang: oh really? (:
Vanessa: haha.. hey! thanks..take care too.
jiasheng: i was actually joking.. hehe xD hm..then use internet explorer!
shun: im not a jay fan.. lol.
win: OH?
jacelyn: HELLO! (:
rhonda: hey! (:
law: hm.. now im posting and tagging! haha sorry.. quite lazy luh.
jessica: JESSICA! JESSICA! JESSICA! haha.. xD but now no more school for you.. hai.
yang: yeah.. it sucks. i never top any subjects!! ):
lyn: hey lyn! (:

i think that's about all..
hehe. i might have left out some.
dun blame me.. sorry.
i think the very first one is really dated ages ago.
so yeah.
ive nothing more.. sadly.
i dont know when i'll post again.
but for now,
bye.

nothingness

2008-10-19T01:03:00.002+08:00

im not posting again.
gaah.. sorry. it's like ive not much time
im like so easily tired..
but im sorta staying up till now.
and playing the impossible quiz..
it's really impossible.
ive given up quite long ago.. so hahah.

today got my new guitar strings!
so cool luh.. like all the pegs and the turning thing..
my uncle helped me.. taught me a couple of cool moves perhaps.
and i found out today that a power chord
is just actually a normal 'bar' chord. lol.
anyw my guit is sorta more comfy now..
i think it's cool. like the sound and stuff..
though i cant compare it with anything. so yeah. whee.(:

agm today was quite moderate.
good and bad.
games were a total failure..
i felt so uneasy explaining the darn games.
but it's over so yay!
everything else was quite fine of course..
kudos to joonguan! and sarah! and all the exco!

ive still got alot to say.. but i dont think i will
cause im tired, naturally.
so yeah.. and oh. results back. gaah.
still okay i guess, i better not say anything wrong at this point of time
or i'll be the centre of most people's anger.
im sorry.
i lost to joonguan in physics.. -.-

bye.

over-

2008-10-13T00:17:00.002+08:00

the exams are finally over!
yay.
haha..
blog surfing at a couple of blogs,
and i realise most pple have updated except me.
so yeah.

gaah.
exams over..
feels super weird.
and soon gonna get back the results.
i really hope it'd fine.
if not,
im literally dead.

friday went for movie.
quite okay.. (it's mamma mia.. so come on.)
yeah. the few guys were crazy..
like little monkeys climbing over the cinema seats
and that includes our dear vice head prefect!
haha.
then i had to freakin rush home cause i had class at night.
i couldnt take it at the cozy sofa, that i slept.
oh. worst mistake.
i woke up realising i was late
chiong everything.
take taxi.
and then still late!
waste of my money can..
a 10 bucks trip maybe..
ended up 15.50..
cause orchard road was so congested i could hardly breathe (yeah right..)

sat was normal.
yeah nothing much to talk about.

today public duty at kusu.
wah.. really insane.
jiasheng and me, jinyan and jacelyn.
so like that take turns to go to kusu..
while the other two slack at the terminal.
me and js went first..
wa. really tons of pple.
it was quite overwhelming. and really scorching.
we slacked there actually, looking for the 'treasure' (jinyan was insane)
and yeah. me and jiasheng didnt really care when we had to DIG thru the sand.
so we gave up.
and went to the miserable shed (prison cell)
and talked. and talked. and talked.
then suddenly! 'hey! there's a casualty UP THE HILL! THE SHRINE THERE!!!'
my first reaction was..
'huh? got hill here ar?'
then we just walk straight ahead..
then run up the stairs.
js was fit and i was weak (duh)
then he laughed at me evilly.
we found the fainting guy.. actually we were more or less extras.
so yeah. walking back a lady approached us, needing help.
so i went alone :(
did what i needed to do.
then watched jiasheng leave with the casualty.
went back to the shed. sit there staring into blank space.
all of a sudden, a boy rushes to the door. stops. stares at me.
a girl came and asked me whether they could come in and i nodded.
and the boy was like 'police leh'..
-.- so yeah.. soon he became too friendly.
started asking for my hp no. and the two girls and him were boasting
that they had handphones. one told me that
they got their phones when they were p5,p3,p1 respectively.
i was -.-
so i just told her, 'i got my phone when i was P6!!'
so that sorta shut her up. they soon yapped away and i dun wanna elaborate further.
went back to mainland. slacked there. and talked to jiasheng again.
it was overall, PLAIN BORING.
but it was really nice talking to jiasheng. (:

drank alot of water in the pool just now.
gaahh. i think there's water in my lungs.. i might suddenly die.
there's smth called dry drowning i rmb..

tmr first got pb meeting at 2. (not too bad..)
then suddenly got ug meeting at 11. (what...)
then suddenly got pb discussion at 9. (WHAT?!!)
HARSH REALITY.

okay. im gonna sleep soon.
yeah. nights.

i want.
but i dont think you want that anyway.
nvm. it's just tough to let go.
but i will.. eventually.
i really hope.

wanna sleep

2008-10-05T04:12:00.003+08:00

the pappeerrss were horrridddd.

hello guys.
i dont think anyone is having a much more enjoyable time than me..
perhaps for the occasional one or two.
maybe alot.
cause im seriously in no exam mode.
monday's emaths.
im too lazy to dig out my practice papers and go through them.
so i see what's on the list next.
CHEM! (and i thought it was physics..)
so im trying to study chem.
i dont get it.. like everything.
i dont even know if salts is gonna be tested..
what are the chapters even?!
i dont believe it..

lit was total crap.. as usual.
bio okay.. lost marks here and there.
but shouldnt be too much of a problem.
ss was hm.. tiring. yeah that's all.
it's quality not quantity.. i still wont get it.
english was hm.. dunno how to describe.
i felt i did horrible.. especially for paper 1.
but whatever.. all those are past.
nothing i can do about it now.
so! -looks forward-

life's at its slower pace.
everyone wants the exams to be over and are alr planning
planning on what to do after the exams.
i want that too.. but gaah. will i have the mood? lol.
maybe im thinking too much..
life around me is still quite unbelievable.
poeple are very strange.. and doing insane things i guess.
actually i dont know who im talking about all of a sudden.
nvm.

and bye.
yeah, all the best and good luck for the exams if youre seeing this.
though i know of a few who wont need it..

from the inside out, my soul cries out!
father i pray now, that even as we continue our exams,
you will guard our hearts and minds. i pray you'll guide us
and we'll be strengthen in your name.
father, let your light shine forth, and never fade.
teach us to trust in you, believing you'll do the impossible.
because only you can. i thank you for all the wonderful friends around me.
i pray your grace and blessing to fall on them. i thank you and praise you.
amen.

examexam

2008-09-26T23:31:00.002+08:00

i thought i had already let go.
but..
gaah. you still seem so cold
ive tried. oh i have tried
maybe it's just not to be.

sometimes it's quite amazing, or incredulous
to see pple get in and out like drinking water?
perhaps i never should.
cause it's horrid to live in regret and hurt.
but i just cant release it.
i think i might slit my wrist.. haha

life's just boring now..
workwork and work..
never do maths..
and life is so horrible cause of that?
today's rain was AWESOME!
not in a great way though..
but it was quite incredible.
it saved me actually..
i was like confirm late for school..
if not for the heavy downpour, i'd probably have my head chop off.
so! there's a silver lining behind those dark glooming clouds. (:

ive nothing more.
met a few pple today..
friends from church..
and mr kung at borders! haha
at first.. darn scared.
then make sure my attire okay, then go say hello.
lol. after he said hello, he was like
'you're not at home studying ar?'
i went, 'nope.. im going for tuition.'
then 'bye'.
wow. kinda unfriendly dont you think?
fine, maybe it was just me.

i wanna sleep.
THERE'S NO MATHS OLYMPLIAD TMR!!!
yay! but nowadays i cant wake up late..
it's like auto early wake up.
my dad wants me to jog with him to the park and back. and im too lazy.
im so unhealthy. crap.

bye.

monotonous ways

2008-09-19T23:26:00.008+08:00

hey guys.

sorry for simply not blogging..

i think no one actually visits anyway.. ):

either cause you (freaks) are mugging..

or... hai. whatever..

okay.

nothing interesting happened lately..

just normal life.

im bored.

ive so much hw.
im not doing.

some pictures that might cheer up our day.

beautiful and awe-inspiring!

omg.. adorable!

hm.. adorable?

it's over

2008-09-08T01:58:00.002+08:00

omg.
okay.. ive decided to post again.
but a short one.. cause i needa sleep.
homework is like still so much..
ive so far struggled to finish amaths till 2..
and i cant find my english compre.. sigh.

whatever..
im coughing like freakin bad now..
it's super irritating.
the hollering and shouting has finally resulted in this.
it's like flu.
maybe it is..
i dont know.
gaahhh.
dunno where to find medicine also.

holidays are over.
soon first day of term 4 would be over.
and the exams would be over.
hai.

sometimes it doesnt matter..
does it?

bye.
and goodnight.
i think i'll die tmr.. more ways than one.
lol.

dont know what to do

2008-09-07T23:52:00.003+08:00

you know.. i just simply dont believe, simply cant believe it. i dont know.. i really dont know. im really helpless. and it's like.. i knew it all along, i never dared faced it. i mean everything i said to you, im serious. the reason is that i still take you as a friend. but it seems as though you dont. okay. perhaps you dont. why? i dont know. maybe it's the way i am.. im blind to my weakness, perhaps. im just a horrid person, perhaps. i dont know. all these are just killing me. and im avoiding you. i dont know why i am, but i am. the fact is, i dont know how to face a person who possibly hates me to the core. and all i'll possibly do, is to make it worse, much worse than it already is now. i really dont know what to do. i will still take you as my friend, whether you believe it or not. i will love you like i have loved all my friends. i think i agree with you though.. i am lame. i am stupid. i am incapable. maybe i do not deserve to be holding this post. you dislike me. you despise me. you possibly hate me. fine. what can i do? you dont like us as a whole.. something ive failed to understand. must you be like this? sometimes you must know. Live for yourself, live for your friends, live for what you believe in. i urge you, to not give up, just because of us. if i had done so, i would probably have ended my life a few years ago. i want to see the spirit.. the spirit and the passion i had seen in you not too far back. and i want this fire to influence those around you. if not, i simply cannot imagine what the future will be like. i guess i hurt you.. in some way or another, and im just blind to it. all i want to say is, i am really sorry. really sincerely i am. i hate the way it is now.. and i hope to see a different you. take it as.. i am begging you.

cause i simply dont know what to do.

(:

2008-09-06T11:48:00.002+08:00

hey there.
whee.
lol..
yesterday was quite an ordinary pleasant day.
im glad..
okay.

whatever.
lets start..
morning did absolutely nothing i think..
maybe just breathe and walk and bathe.
then went to school.
the pet rocket pple were doing their rocket.
and it was darn fun!
and cool!
wow..
okay.
walked arnd doing nothing.
saw nabil studying?
hai. ):
whatever..
then had meeting.
discussed things.
dun wanna talk about it..
then soon trng started.
trng was fun in a sense.
the sec ones were having fun.
the rest of us were footdrilling!
i was footdrilling the sec 3s.
footdrill here and there.
quite fun. (:
then fdc started.
hakim's weird.
whatever..
warm them up.
THEN EDWARD SNEEZED!
omg..
it was like..
who the hell sneezed like that?
i thought it was sharon or smth..
but it was FREAKIN EDD!!!
everyone was chukling..
and i couldnt decide on the commands to give..
so i was like..
"squad..squad..squad..squad........um.squad.... squad memberi blahblah"
haha
and they all were laughing at me.
then there was a slip of my tongue!
'squad kekekekekaaaanann pusing'
lol.
and all the evilevil pple were laughing.. xD

then did two formations.
quite horrible in my opinion.
but 2nd one was certainly better.
I HOPE I WONT SCREW IT LIKE I DID IN THE FIRST. ><
then we were slacking bef going to watch the video.
then cliche!
guess who arrives!!!!
SIR LEE!!
wow!
then he forced us to do one more round.
damn scary at first.
but actually i didnt mind..
i mean, TWO formations the whole trng seemed too little for me.
(im sorry guys.. but i think we seriously need more practice. sigh.)
so did everything cept fancy drill.
i thought he'd SCREAM at us.
but he didnt!
lol.
he made a joke out of jinyan i think.
and jinyan is a "dog" (thanks js)!!
lol.
then watched video.
'live' telecast was horrible..
but the video wasnt too bad.
but still....

after trng, js say wanna play soccer.
then after that he PANGSEH and go home.. ):
sian la after that.
just kicked arnd..
until i finally decide to put the balls in pb room.
then go eat niwa with edd..
edward is a food stealer btw.
i buy SIX SUSHI for 1.30 dollars.
edd EAT THREE SUSHI for 0 dollars.
wth..
but whatever.
i shall let it go. hai.

yup.
that's about my yesterday.
eventful eh?
today was a sian day.
like totally..
nvm.
kk. END OF THE HOLS LE!
crap man..
so short luh..
and my hw, ive hardly done any.
-dead-

adios pple!
all the best for the FYE!
till the next time we meet..

run away?
hm. why?

in a few days? or a few years? or a few decades?

2008-09-03T11:16:00.003+08:00

well..
hey guys.
im posting again..
but there isnt much to post.

had training ytd
it totally sucked..
hq sucks.
the school also..
wth..
3 more freakin trainings to the comp itself.
im feeling the heat like real bad.
and we seem to be still so sucky..
in some area or another.. ):
exactly 10 more days.
sep 13..
i wouldnt forget it in a jiffy im sure..

life has been quite
how do i say it..
has ups and downs..
like sudden highs.. (extremely high)
and sudden lows.. (extremely low)
perhaps it's because of a certain person
or thing
that causes all of these.
the pain sometimes simply cut my heart into pieces.

whatever..
im not doing anyt now.
my revision and hw hasnt started at all..
im looking for guitar chords instead..
LOL
kk..
whatever..

gtg now.
till another time.
(:

sigh ... nice day!

2008-09-01T21:58:00.004+08:00

i sigh, and simply sigh again.
hai.
what am i gonna do?
like seriously i dont know..
i guess im waving the white flag alr.
ive given up.
like what edward said..

whatever.
hello pple!
im finally updating two days consecutively!
haha
be happy!
cause today was a fun and happy day!
LOL

kk..
woke up today at 530.
tried doing ss..
didnt finished..
then went to school.
but i had to miss the bus just when i was about to reach the busstop!
-.-
then had to wait for the bus.
then was late for physics.
but met jg at the bus stop.
lcb was kinda boring..
now it's the inspiration software..
really pro.

ss was boring.
didnt exactly listen..
so i think i'll die for the exams.
whatever..

after that went to tiong with edd and jg and yangyou.
then met lyn and bren.
ate at kfc..
played some crappy game.
AND edd KEPT ON 'zao xia'-ing..
like kept going high pitch all of a sudden.
we made fun of him..
hilarious i tell you.
then after a while left only edd me lyn bren.
then art pple came..
they are a sad bunch of pple..
then go 5th floor and chat.
then edd had to go! )))):
hai. then chat somemore with lyn and bren..
about some crappy stuffs.
cant exactly rmb.
then go buy lyn's bbq stuffs at ntuc.
take train to lyn's house.
go bbq pit then nth to do..
lol
sit there talk again..
and stone there.
till lyn and brenda finally decided to go up,
and me, go out.

came home..
slept in the bus..
and i missed my stop by two!
LOL
walked all the way back..
then on my way i saw my dad's car.
sudden shock.
i thought my dad waiting for me or smth..
lol
but no one was in the car
and the hazard light was on.. O_O

came home ate.
then ate bout 2 hrs later..
then did some chem.
and im here.
hahaha
it's been a while since i posted this sorta post.
life's simply too stressed and tiring nowadays.
so many things to look into..
so many things to think about..

ive nothing more from now.
bye.

i kinda liked today.
at least it was much more pleasant..

2008-08-31T23:36:00.002+08:00

why did you do that?
i dont understand it..
i dont understand how you could slap me so hard.
i never been slapped so hard by a person who wanted to have FUN.
im not really particular if you simply tap my face.
but to slap it, with a certain extent of malice, totally made me lose it.

fine.
you look at smth at the edge of my pants.
i turn arnd
and you slapped me with the 'wth' look on your face.
what the hell did i do?
talking to sharon, jinyan and edward is smth so darn wrong in ur eyes.
or is it just jinyan?

i thought you changed..
the last time smth like this happened..
but you certainly havent.
and i doubt you ever will.

not just this that blew my fuse.
how could you say this to ur JUNIOR?
'eh. you'll get it from me the next trng?'
i dont give a damn if youre joking or not..
but you dont threaten others.
moreover when they are ur juniors.
how would you feel
if tingxin, or even linqian, or whoever,
tell you
'eh. youre gonna get it from me next trng if you dont do ... '
HUH?

to everyone else there
im sorry i lost it and just left.
i dont have a clue what i might have done if i didnt.

and in case you still dont know,
im referring to you.

face it ryan.

2008-08-24T23:42:00.002+08:00

hey..
okay. another week has flown by.
thinking about it..
it's one more week closer to fdc
one more week closer to the exams
you can say one more week closer to the o levels.
and one more week closer to the future.

fine. that's crap.
my point is, life is so fast!
sometimes i dont see the point..
but whatever.
had spa this week.
screwed some parts of them.
ive a problem with some pple.
then had some test
i think.
cant exactly rmb.
not intending to anyway..
tmr a maths though.
im feeling not exactly great about it. ><

swam just now.
went out in the rain..
took the bus..
then walked to the pool in the rain again.
and then, my coach wasnt there!
LOL
my exam is like in 3 days!
and he pangseh us..
but we tried practising..
then the lifeguard scolded us for using clothing in the pool.
wanted to slap him and drag him into the pool..
but figured it was stupid.
ate and went home.

i still dont get amaths.
joony said he'd explain to me one of these days.
lets hope he would.
i forgot my emaths textbook and my chem tys.
really extreme stupidity.

then there's sj.
always having smth happening..
it's like a vicious never ending cycle.
lol.

can i just disintegrate,
and be released into the air,
where it is more free?

im trembling.
if this doesnt break me, something else will.

bye.
till the next time we meet.

happenings

2008-08-18T23:37:00.003+08:00

things these days just come.
it gets worse and worse.
it seems to get worse and worse..
and worse of all, there is no one thing i can do about it.

people say things without considering
whether the other party would be hurt
even after it is said
they still do not realise at all.
i guess it applies to me too..

people then becomes distant.
as though there was smth terribly wrong.
but people stay silent.
or rather,
people just choose to be silent
and simply ignores.

i dont want to care
but i havent reached the stage when i can seriously not care
cause at the moment,
i care about alot of things.
even insignificant small events.
and then something just breaks within me.
and something else breaks too.
and the vicious cycle continues.

i feel totally
helpless.

bored

2008-08-13T22:45:00.003+08:00

okay.

im like out of anything to post.

sigh.
im now posting for the sake of posting.

which is bad.

actually because i dun wanna study physics.

darn it.

grr..

why do we only have ONE sj shirt?

sucks i tell you..

then so confused.

i think im confusing some pple..

it'll all show on friday.

im sorry.

i treasure friendships a lot.

but sometimes, i wonder

whether pple share this same mindset

or are just out to make my life more miserable than it alr is.

or perhaps ive no rights to say this at all.

oh.

and before i forget, i needa return someone a favour.

(i think im doing this for the third time alr!)

well better late than never..

it's still august.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY LYN!

YAY! told you i'll have a photo!

hahahahahahahhah! xD

you rock girl!

LOL seriously!

2008-08-12T23:36:00.004+08:00

omgomg.
k.. um..
today has been an eventful day.
life's quite normal..
today a lil busy, with mr lim's maths as usual..
sj was freakin slack!
for the first time when sir lee is arnd..
and some sucker cut my squad!!!

okay. whatever.
then after sj, went to eat at ljs.
really fatty stuffs..
hai.
im getting darn unfit..
then ben went for his haircut! at kimage (or smth)
edward and me wanted to go home..
but we decided to visit our dear oversized friend.
and we happened to see this after a while..
okay. if it isnt hilarious..
it's random. haha! xD

wow... i was shocked. did you even care?

okay. finally smth to smile about

2008-08-11T18:19:00.002+08:00

yay!
hahaha.
okay.. im feeling alot better alr.
i dunno what has made me.
maybe it's just sleep.
had plenty of it these past few days!
im so lerthagic, and lazy.
but who cares?
haha
yay! perhaps i know why im happy..
im happy, cause physics test is on THURS!
okay. 2 days extension not much diff,
but still there's A DIFFERENCE!
so.. ahem. YAY!
xD

okay.
olympics has started..
it isnt really amusing to me..
except for events s'pore is participating in.
and
soccer, handball (it's kinda cool), sync diving, swimming (phelps is cool, not sure why though), BADMINTON, table tennis, volleyball, trap shooting (okay, i dun really watch this, but it's cool! somehow..).
yup. k.. that's actually a handfull.
but again!
who cares?

k.
im becoming crappy..
but who cares?
haha
hm..
ive finished maths (amazing)..
cept for a few 'i dunno how to do' questions.
but who cares?

nvm.
i shouldnt be posting a long post.
so i'll end here.
enjoy life and olympics pple!
and the holiday today..
bye!

burden

2008-08-09T23:55:00.004+08:00

hai.
you know something guys?
ive alot of things in my heart.
really alotalot..
of burdensome and tiring things.
at times, i dont understand it all.
what is gonna happen if im gonna let it all go one day?

the people arnd me,
i dont see anyt. sometimes, i dont know what to think.
why is the world so so so superficial nowadays?
the fact that, im beginning to feel it.
feel the horrible sensation.
and it hurts, seriously.
words usually dont tell anyt.
it's the tone that comes with it.

sj's become complicated.
perhaps becoming something i dont wanna think about.
im afraid.
really afraid.
sir hakim is leaving.
fdc is HIS final project/wish.
im now officially known as an nco.
there are simply so many things to sort out and oversee.
and besides all these,
how'd pple see me?
cause i dont wanna ever lose them.

actually, i should have alot of things to be happy about.
but im not. and why the hell is the reason?
my bday was this week, prefect/sj ROD is over, nat day is today.
perhaps because of the second significant event stated above,
has afflicted a kind of pain that transcends my understanding.

exactly where.
tell me..
exactly where is everyone?
and why are things turning out this way?

and inside, i keep crying.
sometimes for a reason perfectly unknown to me.

i needa stop being like this.
can you try to really really smile, ryan?
gaaaahhh..

thankyouppl

2008-08-07T00:00:00.003+08:00

okay..
ahem.
now..
thank you all!!!!
hahahah! im really happy! like REALLY
and im really touched by you pple..

okay.
ahemahem..

MOM and DAD : thank you!!!! for everything.. simply everything. from the beginning!! the watch is so cool luh.. though im really afraid i might lose it. but still, THANKS DAD! THANKS MOM!

SHARON and JINYAN : THANK YOU SO MUCHMUCH LUH! i so didnt expect it! and haha.. yes sharon, i'll share it with you k? haha. later you cry.. heheh

NABIL : OMG nabil!! you shouldnt have seriously gone to that extent!! like so many things.. still! im really grateful for them.. thanks alotalot! rock on my friend!

JACELYN : ahaha. just simply thank you! really practical stuffs and things i really need.. i guess. haha thankthankthank you! xD

VALERIE and HARRIS : haha.. nicely given! thanks! although abit big but it's darn cool!

JESSICA : yay! my only chocolate(y) prezzie! thanks so muchmuch jessica!! omgomg..

ESTHER and CHERYL : haha.. yup. im feeling quite guilty now. still, thanks for remembering.. i feel indebted.. or smth. heh

TINGXIN : haha. not so bad wad.. smth i need actually. (:

EDWARD, BENJAMIN, SHIJIE, LISHANTH, JIASHENG, CK, LYN, BRENDA (are there more?) : erm.. really dunno what to say la. it was darn 'wonderful' i must say. hai.. -.- still, thank all of you for the things! well, it's the thought that counts right? okay. maybe the thought is simply weird. but no matter! thanks alot!

KAICHING: Thanks for the card! haha.. it's really nice! your art is really good..

DEVY: thanks for that verse.. it was mighty comforting.. (: i needa learn to really let God control everything.. by prayer and petition. thanks devy! xD

JOON GUAN and LAWERENCE: haha.. thanks bros! LOL. please.. do i have a deep hatred for anyone? haha well i can explode on it. you guys rocks!

YANGYU: haha.. thanks for the cute panda! it's so.. um. CUTE! and also thanks for all the hard work! i really hope you will take care of urself and stay strong! okayokay? xDD

kk..
hm. that's about it.
im not doing anyt else but simply thanking these pple
cause im really touched.
some of the letters even made me tear! okay. i dont quite rmb now..
but really, thanks alot you guys!
yay!
ive said alot of thanks. lol.

next two days gonna be hectic and fierce!
i hope i wont suffer a mental breakdown of any sort.
okay.
bye guys!

birthday!

2008-08-06T23:45:00.003+08:00

haha!
okay..
it's almost 12 alr!
almost the end of 6th august.. ):
oh dear.

so
HAPPY BIRTHDAY LYN!!!
yay! ive wished you on my blog as well..
too bad i dun have a picture though..
grrr.
i'll find one i hope.. somehow. ehehe
anyway! still take care k?
and cheer up! but im here if you need anyt, k? (:
all the best!

"LING-A-LING-A-LOW"
i think tis is cool.
hahah. xD
you rock!
go LYN!
be strong and cool..

after a long time

2008-08-04T22:56:00.003+08:00

hey guys.
sorry man.. have not posted in a really long while.
firstly though,
there's smth i hafta say.
you might not realise it..
but your words mean alot to me.
i have no idea why.
i never thought it would,
but now im seriously hurt..
you seem to have becomed really different.
and it's affecting me..
for i dunno what reason.
why must you do this to me?
it's quite tormenting..
it makes me real sad.
sigh.

okay..
nvm. back to reality.
life's still boring and busy..
cept there is more chinese chess now.
but it's so distracting to this poor mind of mine.
nothing much to say.
sj is killing me. like sucking out the life outta me (hm.. cool?)
lit is beheading me, like simply chopping off my head.
and pb is skinning me with all the frustrations and problems.
so many things i dont understand,
so many things people do without thinking for the slightest second.

fine.
im gonna be like one year older in about an hours time..
15 yrs old. i feel old alr..
but i should be happy since this was the day God brought me here.
so yay! xD

there's like bio test coming i think..
and i think im gonna do not so well.
and maths test.
maths.. hai. im really lost for comments.
doing maths today was just freakin burdensome.
dunno why got some headache, slight fever.
then do maths.. can't even think properly.
><
whatever.. im better i think.
then dad and mom came (wow!)
and we went to see cars.
boringboring.
but the salesperson was darn rude
and she didnt seem to wanna serve us.
something that happened:

mom: what is this indent thing on the bottom of the car below the doors?
salesperson: oh, that is just a feature of the car. (turns away)
mom: wa.. like that wont it collect a lot of dust?
salesperson: (rolls eyes)

i caught the whole thing la..
cause i was on the side of the salesperson.
i was seriously quite annoyed!
but she seemed quite amiable after that.
somehow,
or maybe she was just putting on a false front.

oh.
in case i forget,
i better say this in advance.. haha.
happy birthday LYN! xD
jiayoujiayou!

byes. (:

brr

2008-07-28T00:45:00.001+08:00

fine.
that's that.
im like..
okay. ive not a clue what im doing.
im half looking at the minutes of meeting
half looking at amaths.
and another half typing this.
and another half thinking.
okay.. change the halves to quarters then.

amaths is like..
-.-
it seems so simple to get..
but im seriously forgetting all that ive learnt about binomial theorem.
and the modules function.. it's also vague now.
a few more hours and mr lim will be giving out the papers.
and possibly secretly chuckling at my stupidity.

cross country was fine..
it was ya.. just fine.
i dunno what else to say.
im just really proud of some pple.
or rather, many pple!
well done! (:

swimming was really cold just now.
i was shivering alot.
i swam so many laps but the wind was too strong.
and my toe HURTS!
ouch! i hit it against a chair just now..
there is like no bruises, but it hurts like mad. ><
nothing else le..
i guess.
life has to go on..
fill me Father.
bye!

i don't feel much of a difference..
sadly.

past it

2008-07-28T00:20:00.002+08:00

sometimes i really dont know why. there is something here, that i dont understand. it is vague. indefinitely. and the fact that people are not what they seem, or what i perceive them to be. It gives me insecurity. and sometimes, i just wonder, who cares other than my heavenly Father? Im sure there are people who do.. but i dont exactly feel it. perhaps no.. perhaps i choose not to feel it, cause it'll probably make us feel worse.
and now i realise, how important prayer is. Prayer. it is a spiritual weapon given to us from God to battle the spiritual warfare. How prayer is offense as well as defense. that this world God loved so much is now being controlled by the devil. this really aches me.. why must it be this way? im sure God has a plan.. i know the plan is ongoing.. but must it all fall in place this way?

and i cry.

(:

2008-07-24T21:51:00.003+08:00

yay!
im gonna post a happy post.
i'll try to do away with those crappy ones!
(:

okay..
life's still not too bad.
i havent broke down yet
so it shouldnt be so very bad yet..
i guess.
okay.

tmr's cross country!
LOrd pls hold the clouds!
(;
i really think some pple are gonna win
like alot of pple are i think..
like last year im doing duty..
but this yr im at a shelter.
checkpoint 11!
so not so bad i guess.
(:
today's recce was quite funny..
with jiasheng and nabil and the sec 2s it always is
too bad jinyan and sharon werent there to poke fun at.
HEHE
XD
but my shoes are soaked!
and so were my socks
and my foot..
like half hour plus in the cold bus with cold feet!
haha.. (:

i hope tmr will be a success..
and pple will be happy!
that's important!
i realise..
hehe xD
all the best everyone!
may God be wherever everyone of us goes!
whee!! (:

im no longer lonely, (yay)
thanks dear. (:
MWAHAHA
tis really fun! xD

sick

2008-07-23T23:41:00.003+08:00

im feeling quite sick now.
not just physically..
not just my fluctuating (wrong spelling right?) temperature.
not just my annoying headache.

gaah..
it's like something else.
this thing about homework.
where has your discipline gone to ryan?
i really detest this madrush of completing them.

but it's gettin better.
well at least i finished emaths although i dun have the book
cause i apparently lost it. ><

whatever..
nvm. things should look up more soon.
needa sleep!
yep! sleep! at 23.50!
(:

what's wrong?
dun make me feel worse.

...

2008-07-18T23:33:00.002+08:00

I really dunno why
I simply feel lost..
left out. the simple fact
that pple just dun wanna..
and i'll stand there.
feeling like a total idiot.
alone
lonely
it's like
at times, i feel i have simply no place
at times, i feel like slamming my head against the wall
and reason with myself. well, somehow..

school
what's school?
what's this school life about?
school is now work
work
and
more work

i totally shouldnt be feeling this way
but i just cant help it.
and in addition to all these,
the thousand and one things to do,
problems that totally frustrate me.
that i think im balding..

oh can't you simply understand the simple fact of it all?
the more i see, the more the frustration boils in me.
why cant you just relax?
take a step back..
and you might see things
at a completely different angle.
must THIS be a must?
must THIS always happen?
i truly hope not..
and never will again.

i really dun want to have a third time.
dun make things unreachable.
ive said this before.
very clearly.
and about the fact
that im tolerating
for a number of underlying reasons
that i think should be more important.
dun force it.
help yourself.

please!

2008-07-17T21:36:00.002+08:00

3 things i wanna say to a particular person/group.

i really hope you will put yourself in the shoes of others, crawl around in the skin of others, and try to understand how he or she is thinking.

i really hope you will be responsible in things youre supposed to be committed to, and things you want to commit to.

i really hope you will understand that no one always gets all he wants, no one can expect the entire world to give in to him.

I HAVE A SUDDEN CRAVING FOR ICECREAM! XDD
and i seriously dunno why.
im lagging behind in homework.
somehow im not doing it yet.
haha.. i ate an 'icecream in strawberry'.
smth like that.. it ROCKS!
mwahaha! (: you guys should try it!
woots!

and i say..
Please, please, please.
you have to help yourself first.
or rather
you NEED to help yourself first.

another week

2008-07-14T01:00:00.002+08:00

hey guys.
it's another week.
im really sorry for not posting..
now i know why ppl cant regularly post.
cause im experiencing it now..

sigh.
another quite horrible week (why?!)
but i guess it's always gettin less horrible
cause im sort of gettin used to it.
which totally sucks. ><
except for the debate though..
and today! haha!
quite fun and happy..
at least the end of the week ive smth to smile about.

the whole week was crap.
i dun even wanna talk about it..
till friday.
haha.
after sj..
damn sian actually.. got scolded by ms tho
and 'counselling' by ting-a-ling
then leave at 7 plus?!!
then go tiong..
then wow.
jiansheng,yennshen,lawrence were waiting for us.
us meaning me edd and jamin.
so haha!
then we ate.. then go fifth floor slack awhile..
then play zong ji mi ma cum 'truth or truth'
we were like forced to reveal lotsa things about ourselves.
haha..
i know alot.. hm. at least i think i do.
but no telling.
must keep to myself..
haha. whatever said that night shouldnt go out. (:
after that a guard came and chased us away
for an inadequately explored reason.
then edd went home cause his mom was not happy.
then we went to the badminton court nearby
and continued..
we wanted to get yennshen.
that lucky idiot escaped so many times!!
finally got him but he didnt say.
so sian la!
but it was fun.. bonding session.

go home quite late..
next day debate.
haha quite nervy
i think i still sucked the most.
and im soft..
whatever.. so!
i guess thanks to wt and val we won!
so we WON! haha
xD
then go to town for lunch.
thought of eating smth different.
at the end, macs. -.-"(times 100)
sry jiasheng and co.
you all waited for us so long
then ms chia just stopped you all.
><
then service was so cool!
CHRIS HOPE, some evangelist frm australia came!
so cool luh!
charismatic person..
and i sure was touched..
:)))

today.
went to watch NFAC.
realised why zone 10's the best.
got news from sir hakim that
AC - zone 10 2nd
AA - zone 10 1st
NC - zone 10 1st
NA - zone 10 1st
like WOW!
haha.. (:
then went to eat lunch.
watched hellboy.
which was quite nice..
and jamin bought us drinks during lunch
with a hidden agenda i shall not mention.
but i think it's quite obvious..
haha.
so.. XDD

so that's that i guess..
tmr emaths test.
dun get circles..
actually i get it.. but i just cant apply it.
sian la.
like sometimes the question super complex
then i dunno how to use the rules.. ):
i think im gonna die.
but whatever.. who cares?

that's all.
long post.
to make up for not posting! haha
k.
will be back after a hopefully EXCITING week..
or maybe earlier.. (:
bye!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY SHARON!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY JINYAN!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY BENJAMIN!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY WAICHONG!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY CHERYL!

((:

2008-07-07T10:08:00.003+08:00

hey folks.
ive been having a rather rough week.
sorry for that
and not posting for such a long time..
sj is alr starting to stress me.
i really hope i wont collapse..
May the Lord be my pillar of strength
where i can draw strength from.. (:

I dunno how or where to start..
lit and maths have become harder
especially maths.
i used to get amaths and not emaths.
now i get emaths BUT not amaths..
super tedious stuffs..
i havent finished emaths crap yet..
aiming to complete it today.
lemme emphasize the 'aiming' (:

changed my playlist of songs..
cause there has been alot of feedback of the loudness of 'BREAK FREE'
so now 'BREAK FREE' is the last song..
i think this album is quite cool too..
xD
any comments please voice out..
i'll be glad to amend anything else.

oh.
thanks to GK, my phone sorta cover broke.
i just managed to find glue to glue it back this morning.
i hope it stays..
the glue's sticky though.
what am i saying?
of course glue has to be sticky..
k. (:

and today's youth day!!
-claps- -applause- -cheers-
yayness..
ive not had a free day in such a long time..
some pple told me they wanted to go out.
but no one has told me no nothing.
nvm. slack day! yay!
haha xD

i think my sms quota is gonna burst
and every sms is gonna be charged..
cause im like sending so many mass msgs for sj.
grr..
i hope my parents wont complain..
i told them about the olevel music thing.
they are pissed off.
they tried convincing me that night.. friday i think.
or rather, threateningly convincing..
dunno how to say. not scolding.
but talking in a rather scary way.
well, they havent talked about it since. so (:
i hope..

'PERFECT LOVE' by hillsongs rocks!
and so does
'LOVE ENOUGH'!!
and
'SECOND CHANCE'!!!
basically
the entire album on the left of the posts..

okay.
ive no more to say.
that's an understatement actually.
ive alot to say!
just that, if i do so, you pple will die of boredom.
this post is alr quite long.
k
bye.

May you trust God in everything.
and that he may be more evident in your life.
:)

grr

2008-07-06T01:10:00.003+08:00

i very much doubt you understand.
i mean
i seriously dun wanna sit there
and provide eye power.
while you do other things that you dont regard as a waste of time.

and i wonder
what the heck was i doing,
what the heck was i thinking.

long time no post

2008-06-28T13:29:00.002+08:00

hey guys.
sorry man..
long time no post..
my blog is indeed quite sad.
sorry!
anyway, life's been quite boring
and tiring
and more significantly,
busy!
it's like..
ive no life any longer..

maths has been very tedious..
fun and happy maths has transformed to
boring and tedious maths.
and it doesnt help with mr lim losing his temper more and more often..
i feel quite sad for him.
but at the same time, maybe not.
cause the homework is really ALOT!
):
havent done this week's yet..
and it's saturday 1.40 alr..

taking over the corp soon..
i really hope we will go to another level.
sir teo is back.
im sure he'll do his best.
that equals most of us dying and hating him..
well. he said so himself..
training was darn slack yesterday
i was very surprised.
i wasnt looking forward to it.
cause sir teo was there and i thought we would get a training (tekan) session from him..
but he said it'd start next week..
and me and sharon will probably hate him.
sigh.
God says dont hate anyone..
so perhaps i will dislike him?
dunno.. in time to come, i guess i will.
):

ms chui is not teaching us!
AHHHH!
very sad luh..
chem was a very fun and joking-ish lesson.
now it's still fun, but very weird!
it's quite scary actually..
dunno what might happen in the near future.
physics too..
ms tay is going for studies.
and LCB is teaching us.
well, for those for knows how it's like, then no explanation is needed.
for those who dont, go ask those who knows.
):

im getting busier and busier..
especially with sj.
ive alot of doubts and worries.
sometimes i just dunno what to do.
):

anco was quite crappy btw..
it was boring and..
boring.
no comment actually.
but i guess, ive learnt quite alot.
SO NOW
intake 06!
Jiayous! do your best!
i believe we can strive if we work together as one, never breaking!

that's all.
im out of anything to post.
bye.
will post some time in future.
once i have something in mind.

still.. thank you again!
i hope you seriously dont mind..
(:
Jiayous! take care..

ANCO

2008-06-19T02:25:00.002+08:00

here we go folks
tmr's the day..
and the day after that is also the day..
i feel nervy.
and am feeling
SIAN already!!
LOL

MOI still not done..
im still procrastinating.
OOA i think is done.
but dunno where it is.
tmr (today) all talks i think..
hope i seriously dun sleep.
it's freakin late can?
hahah.

whatever.
crappy post..
havent had this in a very long time..
im really tired.
better run..
bye.

THANK YOU!
YOURE THE BEST! XD

late

2008-06-16T01:35:00.002+08:00

it's really late now..
so a short post i guess.
sigh.
thanks for the taggss!!
i'll keep them in mind..
my next week is gonna be stressful
but i believe my heavenly father still reigns
and NOTHING is impossible when God is on my side.
im glad..
thank you Lord.
for everything..
(:

stressed out

2008-06-12T23:15:00.002+08:00

hey peeps.
im really posting in a stressed out mode.
im really like collapsing..

k.
-breathes-
anco.. coming soon on 19th june
dead cause
we havent had a meeting at all yet.
and like
monday supposedly can
but jinyan cant
and probably some others who are still in newzealand
or somewhere arnd the world.
tues got training..
dunno how.
really dont know dont know.
at all luh..
asked tingxin. dunno how she gonna settle.

then tmr there's camp..
and i havent packed.
and like, im SO NOT looking forward to it.
see?
3rd week of hols is almost over..
aannddd.
hw. practically none completed yet.

now can all see how dead i am?
i really dunno how..
but i guess
at times like this
i can only
rely on Jesus.
really put my faith in Him.
and believe he can pull me out of this.
cause seriously, i cant do it alone.
or rather, i cant do it with my own strength.
like wednesday, somehow
the holy spirit helped me.
wasnt so obvious.. but im sure
i couldnt have done it alone.
and i thank you Lord. (:

well and i just sorta remembered this verse.
and i believe it is similer to that in my last post(was it my last post?)
ya.. whatever it is.

Philipians 4:13
Lord, never again will i confess that i am a failure for "I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength."

and im just thankful.
and i really hope
that Lord you'll be my pillar of strength
that Lord you'll pull me through
i really dun wanna just give up and collapse..
really dont.

reallyreally don't.

dead

2008-06-10T10:48:00.003+08:00

my blog is officially dead!
seriously..
ive no idea what to blog.
and there're no taggsss. ):

there's sj trainin today
later..
but must go early..
for some sian reason.
sigh. ><
you know
i dun even know if im tired.
i feel tired
yet i dont feel tired at the same time.
and i have an awful sore throat
and running nose..
i think i caught the bug in batam.. )):

there's quite alot of math to do
and i have not done them
litespeed pressure quiz also not done
im sure i still have alot more..

seriously i wanna break free!!
haha! reallyreally..
sometimes i just feel im gonna break down..
like just collapse and die or somethin.
ohoh!
but im reading this wonderful book
'faith is NOT a feeling'
and it's good.. (have i mentioned this bef?)
so yup, maybe i wont collapse too soon..

i so am not looking forward to wednesday.
whywhy?
whywhy?
whywhy?
sigh.. i think im gonna suck
or screw it up. >.<

see you guys.

oh
and now i more or less know,
more or less figured it out.

camp

2008-06-07T15:03:00.003+08:00

whee!
im back from camp!!
haha! really stupendously awesome
had an insight to many things..

JESUS is LORD!
JESUS is RISEN!
JESUS is COMING AGAIN!

oh.. how true they are.
especially the last, since it applies to today's context the best.
even thousands of years ago
it's already been said that these are the last days.
sometimes i wonder
this life is quite like nothing.
there had been times
when there seemed to be no meaning to it.
but there is.
definitely.
and im keeping my faith steadfast in Him.

Luke 21:10-11
Then He said to them, "Nations will rise against nations, and kingdoms against kingdoms. There will be great earthquakes, famines, pestilences in various plasces, and fearful events and great signs of heaven."

really frightening you might say.
but im glad Jesus also said this

Luke 21:33
"Heaven and earth will pass away, but my words will never pass away."

and this,

Romans 5:8
But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.

truly amazing..
i know not what he has planned for me.
for now i'll keep my faith
cause who knows what might happen tomorrow? or the many days after?

wow. this is indeed a very christ liking post.
but i guess after the camp i should really do this
and meditate on his words.
well. life's still bad. havent done any homework.
and i currently know nothing about lessons in school. ):
will update some time soon.

bye.

done

2008-06-03T01:11:00.003+08:00

finally.
all done.
i hope.

im still left wondering.
it still seems bleak though.
i want to know.
yet at the same time
i dont want to know.
but my mind shall be off all that
as i focus on you Father.
i really want to get back on track.
and be able to experience you again.

so long guys! (:

batambatam

2008-06-02T22:49:00.002+08:00

im posting again..
since i will probably not post the next couple of days.
cause i'll be at batam!
haha. church camp..
really lookin forward to getta know god more.. (:
havent packed or anything yet..
haha.
still.. im gonna MISS the lit seminars!!
GAAAHHHH!! AHHHHH!! GRRRRR!!
money poof..
learning experiences poof..
sigh.
poor time planning.. ):

whatever..
i dunno what to post.
still in a euphoria mode from yesterday..
hahahah
rested alotalot today.
im seriously gettin fat.
for i dunno what reason..

just read the cabronz blog..
COOL!
and i really wanna really play soccer!
haha.. it's been awhile..
or maybe not.
but it seems like it has been..

im thinking of changing the songs.
maybe i will..
after this.
lord you have made me glad. (:

that's all.
away from normal life for 4 days.
will be missin it.
but tis cool. XD

bye.

-happy-

2008-06-02T10:27:00.003+08:00

IT'S OFFICIALLY
*tut-tut*
OVEROVEROVEROVEROVER!!
HAHA!
im really just overjoyed..
two things.
1) FAC 08 IS OVER!! xDDDDDD
2) WE WON SOME STUFFS!! xDDDDDD

haha..
yep. sorry for being so happy.
i know some peps out there are having a sadder life.
im sorry.
but still
im happy!
yay! it wasnt like that last year
2nd overall,champion short case,third TOC & long case.
i cant believe we achieve smth for the case studies..
(:

today's officially the first day i get a full rest.
yay!
still.. i still hoped we did better..
like for footdrill and TOC.
sigh.
but overall, not too bad i suppose.
next up, FDC.
oh god.. i really dunno how it's gonna happen
but till then
i shall not think about it.. xD

AC2 must jiayous!
please do not split or anyt
cause the valuable experiences you all get this year
all the trainings and the comp itself
will serve as wonderful lessons for your trainings next year.
so cannot be disheartened!
you all did better than ours last year.
we were 5th over 8 if im not wrong
you guys are 4th over 11!!
so! can make it de..
there's always next year
there's always time for more trainings and fun!
the trophies are waiting for you..
haha
all e best nabil!
soon kong!
jiasheng!
jon!
kwan hwa!
i believe you all can go a long long way together! xD

yup.
that's all.
haha. at least it wouldnt be so stress and frustrating now.
im glad.

still searching..
still asking..
for something
perhaps?

bye.

fac 1/6/08

2008-05-31T22:40:00.004+08:00

OMG!!!
IT's tmr!!
we've trained so hard
and so long
i really really hope
we can achieve smth
to a certain form of success
we've been through so much
really all matters
is tmr.
what we have done
will all be revealed tmr
in some form.
and i hope it'll bring glory.

ALL THE BESTTT GESS!
AC1, AC2, NC1, NC2, NA1, NA2
we've done so much
and so many people have done so much.
so we must try and achieve smth for everyone!

it's been tough
and trying.
but i believe we have the capability to do it
we certainly have the potential to shine. (:
that i am sure. xD

and now I pray Jesus
you will strengthen us
aniont our lips so as to speak the right words.
and Lord, you will be there with us
for us.
i thank you and commit our team into your almighty hands.
Amen.

OMG

2008-05-30T22:43:00.002+08:00

LOL! hey peeps! isnt this smth reallyreally interesting?
haha! hmms..
took it today.
but please.
you dun have to think it in any way
cause there are no connotations.
well. looking at it from a neutral's point of view
one can see a guy and a girl.
the guy seems rich (duh)
and the girl seems.. rich too. (perhaps by the way she walks?)
one can also see that they are deep in conversation?
one can see the sky is alr turning rather dark.
one can see from the background it's somewhere near gess. (the other school next door.. sort of)

that's about it i guess.
shall say no more.
ohoh.
one more thing
NO prizes for guessing who these two mysterious characters are!

for more pls tell me through the tagboard
yup. for peace sake
it shall not be revealed yet.
be sporty people!
cheers! xD

fac

2008-05-29T22:14:00.004+08:00

the day is arriving.
faster than comfort.
we are perservering.
okay.
rather i am perservering
tolerating.
was really pushed to my limits today.
but fun
and happiness still prevailed!
so (:

today's training was rather slack and stuff.
we seemed good perhaps?
but seriously i think not.
that's what keeps me tryin to improve meself.
footdrill was seriously horrible
we seriously hafta improve
though i dun really know how.

though as for that
i still believe we can achieve smth
as long as we strive and endure.
haha (:
still it's quite difficult perhaps?
i dunno.
really tired

mock one tmr.
hope we can really perform
but that isnt the most important thing.
the most important thing
is that
we get to experience smth different
and work better together.
then all should be well on sunday.
(:

i needa let it out.
it's frustrating and irritating
seriously.
sigh.
perhaps talking might help?
but not tonight anyway.
i hope i can dump everything in lalaland later.

life's still horrible.
somehow.
but it's sorta brightening up a little.
somehow.

amazing

2008-05-28T00:21:00.002+08:00

i feel like posting once again.
today is another maths cum training day.
nth much i looked forward to
and didnt look forward to anything in the end.
mr lim has some aura i realise.
but he's cool.
lol.

training was quite good
quite fun
quite encouraging
so.
Jolly good!
yup. cause of rain cannot play soccer.
really wanted to play.
so sian nowadays.

talking on msn again.
with edd and bren.
but they are evil people.
especially bren.
shall not elaborate. >.<

mom just seen my report card.
told me my L1R5 aggregate cant get me anywhere
maybe some shit jc
or poly.or ite.
sian.
must ImpROVE!
haha. really must.
but
why like that?..
tired.

ah. two really cool things happened yesterday.
haha. as it was the first day of lesson
i didnt know what time the bus was coming
when i was walking. the bus came
i ran. like my slowest.
and missed it.
i was like wth..
then all of a sudden
another bus came immediately behind
i was like overjoyed cum relieved.
and it seemed
God is trying to tell me
through this tiny incident that might seem unbelievable
that i can trust him. and believe he can really help me through these times.
well
thank you Father.

same thing happen after lunch.
we were walking to the tiong bus stop
and saw 16
it was like about to go off
but it reversed.. somehow.
and me and edward went after it.
and the driver opened the door
we went in
and if im not wrong, he drove off straight away.
really
LOL.
haha.

edward just did smth stupid
rather anyway.
sigh.
really lost for words, my friend.

bye.

phew

2008-05-26T01:05:00.002+08:00

tired.
really very tired.
physically and mentally.
drained very badly.

trainingtrainingtraining.
it's frustrating too.
i just
hope you try.
cause it's really stupid for us.

i hope you understand
but then you probably never will
though not something i bother too much about

talking on msn
seriously flagged out.
more trainings are still due
but i will work hard!
haha. (:
Jiayou AC1!!!!
AC2 work hard too please!!
you do your best and we'll do ours.
im sure you all will win smth.
ALL THE BEST! xD

happy

2008-05-25T02:03:00.004+08:00

maybe i'll post after all.
since im still quite awake.
and my hair's still wet.
what an excuse.
haha.
honestly life is quite crappy.
especially this year.
im stressed for the wrong and right things.
im sad cause of some other stuffs i cant recall.
but there's still a sense of contentment.
somehow.

lit camp today!
-happy-
yay! it was quite fun..
nice. but me and edd
cause of sj, had to sacrifice possibly the most fun part.
sigh. after exam (which was horrible)
went to orchard to wait for the rest.
and then saw some magician who was darn good.
haha. really cool luh! (:
then walked aimlessly with edd
finding for seats
then finding food.
ate quite late and had to leave early.
cause i had youth!
and obviously i was late. ):

was really tired.
reallyreally.
but i tried to really focus on God.
and i guess he helped me.
discussion was quite FUN!
haha. interesting sharings.
and some made me reflected on what i had done before
and i sorta regretted them somehow.
well.
am i ready?

celebrated dad's birthday at the expense of hillsongs concert
but that's also cause i didnt have a ticket.
but NO regrets!
it was really nice and i LOVe my DAD!
YAY! xD
LOL! came home late.
slacked and slacked. (:

really long day.
really tiring day
and ive been having many long tiring days recently.
exhausted.
but today was different.
right from this morning.
smth made me a lil cheerful?
what the future holds, i dont know.
but i'll try to be contented
and happy!

crap man.
really dun get what im saying
and this has ended up to be a rather long post.
im sorry if you mind long posts.
but im happily posting.
which hasnt happened for a long time.
so
(:

tiredness

2008-05-22T21:55:00.003+08:00

haha.
im updating! yay!
haha.. have been really tired these past few days
with sj here and sj there..
too tired to even switch the comp on. ):
im like coming home past 8pm now.
which is quite scary..
maybe not actually,
just some really dark road. with plenty of construction
and trees.
but im fine i guess.

sj has been ups and downs
this sir scolded (lectured) us..
not me exactly
but it's concerning my team
so still me.
he's u_rea_on_ab_le (fill in pls)
well in my opinion at least.
i kinda didnt get him.
what does our attendence gotta do with
integrity?
LOL.
nvm. focus:FAC!! xD

life's been boring and sad.
school has been boring.
so there isnt much to talk about.
it's really a chore to be in school.
if it wasnt before.
BUT assembly today was interesting!
haha! caught you jacelyn.
actually i didnt..
joon guan actually. then i saw.
haha xD
and i wanna play the guit!
but i still have maths.
and maths' is such a chore! since such a long time!!
not good.
sigh.

and i keep saying things out of rash
i think im really a jerk
a horrible person.
slapping my mouth.

and sorry.

FACFACFACFACFACFACFACFACFACFACFACFACFACFACFACFACFAC!!
HAHA! GO AC 1!!
AND AC 2!! jiayous!
must win smth! XDD
i hope.
and edward rocks!
somehow. lol

vesak day

2008-05-19T21:56:00.002+08:00

okay pple.
it's been a rather boring vesak day.
morning like very exciting..
like wanna watch movie
like drillbit taylor, ironman or smth..
at the end
do work..
like wth la
exam over le still ask us to do work..
so nvm i do.
haha. at least completed maths..
so didnt complain much.

then slacked the afternoon after lunch
wanted to sleep but could not
then decided to eat
cup noodles.
i think im gettin real fat.
cause dinner also eat alot..
but that was after jogging abit..
so maybe not.
feeling really lethargic
dun feel like moving.
but overall, it hasnt been too bad.
so i aint really complaining. (;
though we could have made much better use of today
sigh.
yea.i have no life.

well.
ive nothing more.
and yes, i failed for the very first time.
-head bangs wall-

bye.

past few days

2008-05-18T16:08:00.003+08:00

okay..
hello guys!
sorry for not posting the past few days..
really did not have the time.

well friday..
cant remember much that happened..
other than annie jr.. which was nice! yay! (:
then rushed to music at acs.. and got my first F9.
stupid right? it was because i did not do one of the test.. and i got zero!!
WTH la.. then at night.. aaron pangseh.. lol..
at the end, mei and myself just went to macs which was super boring i just walked out.
then after class same stuffs happened..
but we ate at bk.. a lil at least..
went home.. reached at 11 plus.. dunno. memory failure.

sat was a long day.
morning soccer comp..
played till super tired.
but still lost. at the semis.
i scored two.. but please!
im no hero.. if i was, i'd have scored during the semifinal. ):
yep. didnt really have a proper lunch..
came back rush. showered. go to church.
really amazing! haha..
i was really cleared of many doubts i previously had!
and God was there once again!
LOVE that feeling! xD
then came home again..
try to contact some people at the 2g party finally got hold of someone.
then went.. reached at 7.15 or so..
soon got pushed into the pool.. then blahblah.
cooked and eat and drank. was super tired..
but pulled through till 11.20 or so..
then took 51 home.. reached at 1200!
mom was asking me if i was cinderella.. scolded me..
said it was not safe and so on.. i know it's for my own good..
should not have stayed out so late
especially for a cause like that. >.<

then it is today.. irritating can?
yes.
responsibility my friend.
i seriously have tolerated long enough.
really really just telling myself this is FOR the good of all..
but one can see you arent trying..
maybe you are.. but i dont think so..
it's not just this once, it isnt just on this one thing
said you'd change.
i so RATHER you changed..
but no. it's dissapointing..
thinking of winning?
well. we'll have to see then..
but im not being an optimist about this.

ate laksa for lunch..
was quite nice but a lil spicy..
but laksa is supposed to be spicy! haha..
yup. dozed here and there..
practically wasted and wasting this day except for this morning..
indeed these natural disasters,
as elder edwin said..
are signs of end days.
it's seriously horrifying.
ive just about all this..
really dunno what to do now.
bored and feeling..bad.
and why?
really dunno..

well byes.

2008-05-18T15:39:00.002+08:00

annoying
dissapointed.

falling
lost.

searching
aimlessly.

reason
none.

results

2008-05-15T22:51:00.003+08:00

yep.. they are out..
and i really dun wanna think about it.
yes im happy with some of them..
but not so for others..
emaths ive indeed done quite well
i shant deny cause that'd make me more hated
if i alr am not..
eng was quite horrible..
compo lower than situational.. -.-
chinese.. totally crap
bio.. omg. i dont believe i was even confident
of obtaining a b3..
chem too.. it's okay actually..
but i made so many silly mistakes..
like in emaths too..

tmr ss.. and some others.
really dun wanna think about it..
listening to TAKE IT ALL
haha.. by hillsongs!!
yay! seriously.. Jesus i want you to take it all!!
i dun wanna hafta think about this..
yeah.. we'll never be ashamed of you!! xD
and there's PE tmr..
that should be good.. hopefully.

today's training was quite normal..
sir lee was there..
but we ended up training ourselves
which wasnt too bad..
after that play soccer..
or rather watch soccer..
6pm we ended..
npcc told us 2 goals next team..
then 2 goals le.. they say 3 goals..
so we wait..
until super long..
then we getta play.
only for a while
then MR GOH intervened..
asking canoeists to play
like what right does he have la?
nvm.. cca HOD big.. so big.. shall let it pass.
i mean, we waited for 3 goals
then our match only 1 goal deciding it..
seriously pissed..
then they play
then that hypocrite say 1 goal should be fast
at the end play so long
then say some rubbish like
'st john can go home la'
really felt like slapping his face..
gaaahhhhhh
but i controlled meself.

in the end only played for a while
less than 10 min?
the canoeists played much more than that
and they came later than us
obviously frustration killed my game
could not score..
and so did edd..
so we lost.
LOL
and edward told me to post this..
went for sweettalk..
and reached home at 8.10pm.. ><

snail jess-yan (weird name.. OMG) is now still dozing..
well i think.
really cute luh!!
haha..
as cute as kumakuma!!
whee! xD

really bored..
sorry for this long post.
haha
happy and not so happy stuffs..
but i guess im okay..
thankfully..

wow.. this really made me think.
doubt there's nth more to it.

and then you pple..
wth. maybe it's my fault
but still
it seems rather unfair to me
nvm. it wouldnt be done anyway..
not quite bothered.
shant even ask why.

stupidstupidstupid

2008-05-14T10:36:00.002+08:00

gaah!!
crap la..
should have settled everything earlier..
or at least more proper..
have a feeling
it'd all go wrong for me today..
):
and it's my fault..
idiot..
youre really an idiot..
stupidity is gonna ruin you ryan..
matter of time only..

yay

2008-05-13T21:33:00.002+08:00

haha.. i shall post again
cause i should be happY!
since it's all over!
hahahah..
yay! yay! yay!
happy for now..
not gonna be happy about results..
well i shall take a step at a time..
i cant believe it.

yup.. amaths yesterday..
crap can?
haha.. not really that easy..
am already sian diao alr..
cause maths is supposedly my favourite subject
but...
nvm.
chem bio was rather easy..
paper 1s are easy la
yup.
bio everyone finish early..
then last part i check smth..
then like everyone looking at me..
then cannot think clearly..
then i think i lost a few marks alr..
BUT
who cares?
haha..
overoveroveer!! whee!
XD

crap..
mood's seriously dampened..
feel like jumpin outta my window..
gaahhhh
why are some pple like that?
well.. maybe im like that too..
i shouldnt judge.. sigh

and youre so _____..
wanna really ask why..
but perhaps it's of no use

letting it go..

well! over..
yay! haha just watched some chinese show
talked about seeing my own heart..
yeah i can't see it
无法觉悟

k.. im done..
really nothing more to say
should be happy..
but im not..
i dont know why.
perhaps it's sleep..

see ya folks!
(:
have fun..

...

2008-05-13T20:51:00.000+08:00

shocked
really lost for words

exams're almost done!!

2008-05-12T22:44:00.002+08:00

it's gettin worse
much worse..
and i stay helpless..

i still just cant, you might say?
yes.. helpless
and the reason?

i know where im at
exactly
and nothing i do seem to change it

i hate it can?
i really do..
and for those who think amaths was easy for me,
it wasnt..
i said it was easy
cause i thought it'd have been much more difficult..
since mr lim set it..
so compared to his 'standards' it was easy i guess..
but i still have my doubts..
hopefully i'll do well..

chem bio tmr..
im slacking..
totally..
im acting as though my exams are over
since friday..
like my bro and sis..
gonna be dead..
ohwells..

you know
im somewhat grateful..
somewhat happy
somewhat content
and i thank you all..
sometimes there isnt anything better.. (:

yes edd.. i still cant figure out that thing..
like how?
i cant seem to type the correct thing..

dont be depressed pple!
gonna be over soon!
yes.. im trying to convince myself with that..
sigh.

why am i putting myself through this?
--..still pondering.. --

2008-05-10T12:32:00.002+08:00

haha.. i really dunno what to blog about.
well.. im happy!
cause it's quite unbelievable..
11 papers this week!
MARVELLOUS i tell you..
MWAHAHA
yay! woohoo! cheers!
the feeling rox..
but the aftermath will probably be bad still..
but nvm!
woke up at 1017 TODAY
OMG! yay.. (:

k.. -calms down-
monday's still amaths..
and im quite sure mr lim is gonna set it
very scared..
cause i might know most of the stuffs..
but he likes to give those one of a kind question
where i have no idea how to do
then when he does it, it's like so simple..
just manipulating the question..

but i like maths so i wont find monday too bad (i TRULY hope)
and paper 1 for bio and chem shouldnt be too bad too
since phy paper one was much easier than paper 2
so hopefully! they will be fine! haha (;

im slacking now! haha..
amaaths..
you know..
im like looking forward to it
but also not looking forward to it
cause of what might or might not happen
but for now..
im rather happy
mainly cause of my sleep! yay! XD

sorry..
i dunno why im like that
indecisive you might say?
no, it's more than just that..
it seems
im no different
seems that i deserve to fall out of my window
maybe.. i will

and joel..
haha
thanks alot! it was really meaningful
have fun and take care during your trip!
minister to the people there
and grow more in God..
and the email too..
i shall post it
(:

Hillsongs - At The Cross

Oh Lord You've searched me
You know my way
Even when I fail You
I know You love me

Your holy presence
Surrounding me
In every season
I know You love me
I know You love me

At the cross I bow my knee
Where Your blood was shed for me
There's no greater love than this
You have overcome the grave
your Glory fills the highest place
What can separate me now

yes it is truly meaningful..
and i hope we will continue to grow in his love
amen

that's all again folks!
haha
bye! (;

10TH

2008-05-08T20:48:00.002+08:00

AHA!
whee!.. it's the 10th post!
OMG..
im so amused by myself..
hahhaha
it's very little actually.. but 10 is bigger than so many numbers!
it's smaller than many many others too but who cares?
hahah

exams and i can still laugh..
im a lunatic luh..
insane and unstable.
sigh.

chem was not too bad..
well compared to bio and emaths 2
emaths was okayokay too..
haha
and tmr is physics!
and i dont get a thing!
im so dead..
especially the force diagram..
and the difficult data based ques that's gonna come out..
perhaps i can conclude
ms tay is tryin to kill us?
haha
i say no nothing.. --

miss chui is right..
i dont have a life
pple my age mostly dont have one.
and she doesnt have one too..
which is uncommon for pple her age..
wow.
she is quite evil though..
it seems..
and she will either murder me during this midyears
or ENDYEARS!..
omg.. and i thought our own teachers cant mark our papers..
ohwells.
perhaps she will let me off..
but it's my fault for saying some things i shouldnt have said..
BUT ACTUALLY..
THOSE things are SO true MISS CHUI!
k..well maybe to a certain extent..
but STILL..
haha
nvm! whee! (:

im off to study physics..
well maybe study isnt the right word..
rather read physics..
or stare physics..
sigh.

till next times! which i dunno when..
Be with me Jesus..
bye!
(:

ouch

2008-05-07T19:37:00.000+08:00

my heart aches
and i feel like falling..
breaking
ouch.

nothing

2008-05-05T18:12:00.003+08:00

dont be sad k? cheer up!
cause im sure youre gonna do well.. (:
i believe it'll be fine..

exams're here! well.almost.

2008-05-04T00:19:00.002+08:00

Exams!! woo!
it's the time of the year again..
where we mug..
and get stressed..
i heard on some radio where the dj
encouraged the parents to not make a child's exam times a terrible one..
like how is that even possible?
i dunno.. but nvm. it was never for me..
it's always burning some midnight oil..
and drinking chicken essence in the morn IF im lucky..
LOL

honestly.. i think this is the exam where im the MOST unprepared..
like seriously.. i dunno what to study..
knowing monday is ss..
and i'll probably kill myself mugging tmr..
which is bad.
the compos were alr a horrid start..
why am i in such a miserable state?

well.i dunno
so many confusing things..
things sometimes i mull over..
for a very long time..
forgoing my sleep at times..
what for ryan?
it's out of your control..
there's nothing much you can do but hope..
but there isnt much hope in hoping either..

youth was awesome today!
I felt God's presence there..
and was really blessed.
class was great fun..
learnt alot of things.. am very grateful for my cg! (:

it's so late.. why am i even blogging?
i just dun feel like sleeping
though im really tired.
can you describe this feeling?
and im going on and on.. rambling crap.
chem was fun this morn though..
haha
i didnt know i can't even smile..

filed my lit file..
sort of.. everything out of order..
read the analysis of this and that
read until eye pain..
bored to death.. seriously luh.

i love my mom!
haha!
yay!
she rocks! like totally.. whee!
like just now..
HAHAHA
-smiles/laughs randomly-

im going insane..
as you can see..
and i might know why.
maybe i dont..
since i dunno whether you do..
or perhaps whether i really do..

crap! wow.
my blog is crap la..
i think NONE of my post are at all un-crap..
my thoughts arent organised..
cause it's just smth deep.. that seems to hurt?
something i myself dont even bother to find out..
reason being the fact that ive no place there

thank you pple for everything..
all you wonderful friends.. haha
jiayous and all the best for the papers!
must do better than me (i am SURE actually)
(:

till some other moment,
byes

the 'feeling'

2008-04-29T21:31:00.002+08:00

this weird feeling hit me a while ago..
and i dunno why.
you could say it is betrayal
yet
i allowed it all to happen
i knew it would.. sooner or later

is it easy? i dunno..
i mean.. it's just vague
and seems to have little sense..

sorry.. i really dun feel like posting about everyday life
or rather today's happenings..
just not very interesting..
and for once this is a RATHER short post!
yay!

Jesus, i pray and ask of you to continuously guide me and be there for me. Even when times are not good, i still hope you'll help me place my trust and belief in you. Exams are coming. stressed out really. i pray you'll give me strength and relief through this time. For those precious beings around me, i pray you'll grant them wisdom and strength to do well in everything. i pray that you grant those who are ill healing too. i thank you and praise you. In Jesus most precious name, Amen.

till another time,
byebye

exams're coming!

2008-04-26T13:29:00.002+08:00

well.. a moderate week you can say.
it had its up and downs.
exams was downs though..
i really think im gonna flunk this time..
i keep telling myself to study but it doesnt happen!
this is like the umpteen time im telling myself alr..
but still.. im always sort of distracted..
somehow.. by something.

alright.. woke up at 6.20am for a jog at MACrithchie (wrong spelling)
jogged and jogged.. stamina SO not there..
had hunger pangs along the way.. and my phlegm was so irritating..
like im out of breath alr and i have to cough the glueeeeyy thing out..
haha was really slippery throughout..
slipped a few times but im okay.. xD
BUT it was FUN! that's the good thing..
dunno how jogging can be fun
but it was! WOW!
and went to some coffee shop at commonwealth
ate chicken rice (in the MORN! YES) and drank teh bing (or you could say tea ice)
then went home..
and slept somemore! WOO!! (:
sleep nowadays is such a luxury..

a lot of books on my table..
did amaths cause it's fun? (though im sure not everyone agrees.. maybe only mr lim.)
gonna try to do chem revision later..
and bio if possible
i dunno why im sweating now!
so warm!
fan's almost at full speed!!! >.<

nvm.. ive talked alot of crap.
was blasting (playing) music on my phone till it's almost dead now..
just realised.. haha
couldnt post yesterday cause of classes and i just fell asleep (dead) the moment i came home

GET WELL PEOPLE!
those arnd me as well as myself..
i miss you people..
place there is now quite boring..
thanks for tagging too people! (:

and val..
your feature..
sigh. i dunno what to say.
my mind seems to have pulverised.. ):
and it has got nothing to do with you..
well. thank you for being there when i wasnt feeling too good sometime ago
and try not to take things to heart so easily
be strong and be a good 'counsellor' too! haha
all the best and good luck in everything!
with hooky? i mean yes with hooky.. haha XD

this is such a weird post..
so disjointed.. everything.
i dunno what's wrong with me..
is it just me?

alrighty then!
goodbye!

not too bad

2008-04-23T21:53:00.003+08:00

hey there!
yay.. im posting for the 4th time consecutively!
MWAHAHAH!

LOL..
k.. today was not too bad a day.
it started off horribly..
first was almost late for school, was given the 'look' by miss chui. (:
then when doing duty got scolded for nothing..
by some person i shall NOT remember..
bio prac didnt get the results from the hypothesis.
CD.. arranged tables.. haiizz.. i will talk more about that later.
Physics.. didnt get a thing. test was crap.
well.. physics is boring and difficult
bio is fun but difficult
chem is fun and complex but NOT too difficult! YAY!
I LOVE MISS CHUI! haha.. she rocks!
k recess.. eat abit..
then free periods..
i didnt really get pissed off louiza..
was just pretending?
haha cause ys dropped my MP3!!!
but it was alright.. well it seems so.. (:
maths test was quite okay..
always like that..
all easy except that one very seemingly difficult one.
didnt eat lunch
lit celebrations! ice creams! yay ice creams!
but she was sarcastic.. and the discussion wasnt good..
after everything eat chocs and snacks..
lyn was eating mamee despite her cough cause her father wasnt setting a good example.. XDD
went to tiong and val was torturing me..
dunno why hooky didnt help instead.. haiiz
drank sweet talk at bk..
got politely chased off by the guy there
after BENJIE spilled his drink on his shirt and a bit on mine (poor chap)
and then pour water on my hand and a bit on my pants!
wow! haha LOL
went for piano..
learnt quite alot i guess..
this friday exam le!!!! >.<

MY DAY!
as you can see was much better than yesterday
so
YAY! :D
haha it sort of got better.. though a horrid start.
still a lil pissed off over what happened at approximately 7.37am
but nvm.. i'll let it pass. now the people arnd me!!! well were arnd me..

Joon Guan (aka GK)
he's quite cool.. always getting the high marks
ahead of me.. haiizz
and KEEPs copying my work..
he doesnt do homework and scores for tests!!
like why??!!
256 person..

Yenn Shen
Yeah fool.. for life holmes.
though you always step on my pants
like why??!
haha nvm.. G4L cabron!

Edward
Yo foo.. youre always there man.
this blog was made under your guidance
haha. Thanks. seriously!

Sultan (gangster)
CABRON lah! haha..
funny person..
especially musical..
was laughing like nonstop. LOL

Harris
hey homae.. always so good in everything..
and tell me some stuffs too..
whee! haha..
good luck this time bro!
hope it all goes well!
and for mid years too! :)

Lisin
hey clever person.. hardly talk to you.
but still can feel your um..
dominating presence?
haha
All the best! i think you'll top..

Lyn (xD)
yo lyn! haha..
youre really funny.. laughing your head off
and giving me the 'what's your problem' face
but always laugh still..
am i that funny?
like seriously luh..
hehe. still thank you! and all the best! XD

Val
well val.. known you for quite a long time
hope you'll continue to strive
and do your homework!
haha good luck! :)

Esther
esther.. haha..
funny person too!
you gave len vapodrops today?
wow!
im smelling fishyness..
hahahah

Lishanth
a little bit scary person
it is when youre sitting beside someone who can suddenly laugh nonstop
haha but youre really nice
thank you too! and all the best! :)

ERIC (XDD)
HAHA! eric! whee!
woo! WOAH! YAY!
LOL.. thanks man! really funny..
and im starting to love you!
mwahaha!
the way we combine our powers
to attack the 2 particular pple on your right!
WHEE!(:
ALL THE BEST!

Leonard
haha..pathetic person..
wow.. esther gave you vapodrops..
wowwowwowwow..
haha! sorry if im like super mad at you always
it's just fun.. haha!
relax more! especially when pple wanna tickle you..

Eileen
i still dun know your chinese name..
keep calling me wenjie
lol..
doesnt matter actually.. (:

Fitri
i dont give you the 'what' face luh..
why everytime say i do?
lol..

Bren
YO! planetshakers! hillsongs!
haha.. but i might not be going for the latter one..
sigh
all the best!

Yunxuan
hello.. hardly talk to you
but youre just there
inserting your opinions..
sometimes funny.. haha (:

okay..
that's all!
I LOVE YOU PEOPLE! TIS REALLY FUN! WOO!
sorry if this is too long a post..
ive wasted alot of time..
yours as well as mine..
sigh.

byebye

another day..

2008-04-22T19:02:00.002+08:00

oh another day..
yes another day which i didnt much enjoy..
it's quite sad nowadays..
that i hardly look forward to school.
seeing teachers faces (especially some)
well.. not miss chui and miss pang and MRS TEE and mr LIM (well sometimes..)
sigh.

what am i supposed to expect?
everytime i feel so helplessly trapped
under that enormous invicible weight
and i ask myself
is this really what i want?

soon enough an answer comes
or perhaps in the form of a person
and pretends to be worried
but i know
right from the start that i'm going to be wrong

trapped
it's just so tiresome
trapped
it's just so vague
trapped
it's just so unimaginable

and i wonder
what would happen if i free myself?
what would happen if i set myself free?
till this day
i'm still unsure
still helplessly trapped

wow. that just came..
haha.
today's test was horrible..
tmr's might well be too.. ):
and it just feels that way

and lyn
i should be the one who is sorry..
not you or val
okay?
i felt really bad when you said that.
cause it wasnt your fault at all.. (:

oh please, i cant believe it
it was totally.. horrifying
i really dont understand
to what you did
was it neccessary?

another time then.
byes.